Check and Rate please - Writing Task II - Job Satisfaction

[IndianHarry]

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.
What factors contribute to job satisfaction?
How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

In modern society, about half the waking hours are spent at work. As such, it is of immense importance to have a work environment that is fulfilling all desired ways. This essay seeks to shed light on the components of a satisfying work experience and also to analyze the plausibility of a fulfilling job for all the workers.

To begin with, a satisfying work experience has certain prerequisites. These may include having a job in a field one is genuinely competent and/or interested in. Also a work environment where employees are respected regardless of their position in the staff hierarchy usually breeds positivity, self-worth and ,thus, job satisfaction. Another element that plays an integral role in the level of work satisfaction is the amount of work, the less the better. This is demonstrated by the fact that employees are often seen complaining about the burden of work even in cases where they have job they hold expertise and interest in. Thus we see that there are several factors that can make or break work life contentment.

Moving on, the idea that job satisfaction can be a possibility for all workers has a couple of major hindrances in its way. Firstly, job creation is a function of consumer demand. This coupled with the idea that job satisfaction is inextricably related to one’s field of work makes clear that not all workers will get the chance to work in their field of interest as job opportunities in that particular field may be scarce. They will have to migrate to other relatively uninteresting jobs. The second hindrance deals with job satisfaction being linked to the respectability within work environment. As the internal environments of firms are hard to regulate by laws laying out codes of conduct, and as such attempts may even be considered a breach of a firm’s right to privacy, it is hard to imagine then the possibility of a non-hostile work environment for all. Thus we see that such an idea is hard to come to fruition as a result of the uncontrollable nature of the factors linked to job satisfaction.

To summarize, several factors such as the interest and competence in a particular job, employee relations and the amount of work contribute to job satisfaction. And the near impossibility to exercise control over these factors make the idea of all workers being fully satisfied an unrealistic one. At most what can be achieved is a general increase in worker satisfaction.

[Johnson zhang]

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[IndianHarry]

Moving ona little informal...,

great essay ! It is not exactly easy to read though.

Thanks for the suggestion.

By not easy to read, what exactly are you talking about? Just curious. Is it some issue with coherence of the essay or something else?

[Johnson zhang]

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[IndianHarry]

your essay is a bit overdone
by that , i mean you squeezed so much information, ideas into a single sentence. there are so many adjectives adverbs ....clauses. clearly , you r an advanced user of english, but ielts isn't a test of your intelligence.

I don't expect an IELTS examiner to have any issues comprehending that. I never thought it was a test of intelligence. You make it seem like sounding intelligent is counterproductive. And this essay does not at all seem like it involves sophisticated reasoning. Its simple and straightforward.

As for the grammar issues that you point to, the band descriptors clearly state that use of wide range of structures , as long its used accurately, is good for higher bands.

as long as you answered the question ...you would be fine ,there is no need to provide any insights...

What you are calling insight is perhaps what is called explaining yourself. Mere answering the question is just job half done. And the essay wouldn't make it past 250 words if all I do is just answer the question.

do you really think examiners care what you write

Yes. You should know better. The examiner does care if I have properly addressed the questions. He does care that my response is logical. The first time I posted here, Ryan told me clearly that flowery language is no substitute for Raw logic. Your reasoning does matter.

I suggest you read the band descriptors properly.

[durai]

In modern society, about half the waking hours are spent at work. As such, it is of immense importance to have a work environment that is fulfilling in all desired ways. This essay seeks to shed light on the components of a satisfying work experience and also to analyze the plausibility of no article 'a' fulfilling job for all the workers.

To begin with, a satisfying work experience has certain prerequisites. These may include having a job in a field that a person is genuinely competent and/or avoid using slash, it affects style interested in. Also a work environment where employees are respected regardless of their position in the staff hierarchy usually breeds positivity, self-worth and,thus, job satisfaction. Another element that plays an integral role in the level of work satisfaction is the amount of work, the less the better. This is demonstrated by the fact that employees are often seen complaining about the burden of work even in cases where they have job they hold expertise and interest in. Thus we see that there are several factors that can make or break work life contentment. last sentence is not clear , and not refring back to thesis

Moving on, the idea that job satisfaction can be a possibility for all workers has a couple of major hindrances in its way. Firstly, job creation is a function of consumer demand. This coupled with the idea that job satisfaction is inextricably related to one’s field of work makes clear that not all workers will get the chance to work in their field of interest as job opportunities in that particular field may be scarce. They will have to migrate to other relatively uninteresting jobs. The second hindrance deals with job satisfaction being linked to the respectability within work environment. As the internal environments of firms are hard to regulate by laws laying out codes of conduct, and as such attempts may even be considered a breach of a firm’s right to privacy, it is hard to imagine then the possibility of a non-hostile work environment for all. tooo big sentence, I lost the meaning while reading, keep sentences around 20 words in length Thus we see that such an idea is hard to come to fruition as a result of the uncontrollable nature of the factors linked to job satisfaction.

To summarize, several factors such as the interest and competence in a particular job, employee relations and the amount of work contribute to job satisfaction. And the near impossibility to exercise control over these factors make the idea of all workers being fully satisfied an unrealistic one. At most what can be achieved is a general increase in worker satisfaction.

you have some high level vocabulary, and that is the reason I find difficult to understand even though i am a band 9 reader.
I can see you try to use idiomatic language, I know it is better, but over use of it may reduce clarity, so try maximum of 3 to 4 per essay...and use simple idiomatic , not a complicated one..

also, try to write maximum of 20 words per sentence, using more words may cause meaning unclear, which may reduce mark significantly for task response and coherence, you ay get for grammar for using long, but its not worth ...

its only my opinion, you may accept or may not,

good luck with your exam..