GT Letter Writing - Your comments please

[Somnil]

Write a letter to the municipal government. In your letter
describe a problem you’ve experienced in the city
suggest a way the city can eliminate this problem
explain how this will improve life in the city

Write at least 150 words.
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ____________________,


Dear Sir,
My name is Somnil and I am residing in your city for the past 10 years. I love to stay in this city because of the beautiful lakes that make it very serene.

However, lately I have noticed that these lakes are being filled up in order to convert them to land for residential and commercial purpose. I, and I presume many other citizens, are upset about this since these lakes are supposedly the breathing points of our city. Closure of these lakes also means loss of greenery as many of these water bodies are surrounded by parks and gardens. Moreover, these lakes help in maintaining the ground water level of the city. Once they are closed, the ground water level can recede by hundreds of feet thereby risking available of potable water.

The only remedy to this problem is to immediately stop filling of ponds and lakes and roll back all those which are in the process of conversion. Restoring the lakes will not only add to the aesthetic value of our city, but will also improve the quality of air and ground water, which is so important for each one of us.

I am looking forward towards a positive step from your side.

Thank you.

Yours Sincerely,

Somnil

[argho1985]

Write a letter to the municipal government. In your letter
describe a problem you’ve experienced in the city
suggest a way the city can eliminate this problem
explain how this will improve life in the city

Write at least 150 words.
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ____________________,


Dear Sir,
My name is Somnil and I am residing in your city for the past 10 years. I love to stay in this city because of the beautiful lakes that make it very serene.

Corrected: My name is XYZ and I am writing this letter to express my disagreement with the current development of residential apartments in place of lake XYZ located near to my house.

However, lately I have noticed that these lakes are being filled up in order to convert them to land for residential and commercial purpose. I, and I presume many other citizens, are upset about this since these lakes are supposedly the breathing points of our city. Closure of these lakes also means loss of greenery as many of these water bodies are surrounded by parks and gardens. Moreover, these lakes help in maintaining the ground water level of the city. Once they are closed, the ground water level can recede by hundreds of feet thereby risking available of potable water.

Corrected : At present, with the presence of the lake, it motivates the residents to go for a walk along the side of lake, but with this development, it will close all the avenues of a individual source of entertainment. Moreover, this lake was a major component in supplying water to the city. After closure, this will affect the daily water supply to houses of hundreds of people including me.

The only remedy to this problem is to immediately stop filling of ponds and lakes and roll back all those which are in the process of conversion. Restoring the lakes will not only add to the aesthetic value of our city, but will also improve the quality of air and ground water, which is so important for each one of us.

Corrected: With the current problem in mind, the only solution to restore water is the process of conversion. This process will lead to getting the lakes restored which will help improving the level of ground water. This will be beneficial for both of us.

I am looking forward towards a positive step from your side.

Corrected : Hope you understand the problem and looking forward for a positive step towards from your side.

Thank you.

Yours Sincerely,

Somnil

Hi Somil,

I did a another correction of your letter.

What I reckon you lagging is .. You, don't state the purpose of the letter.. You need to do that.

If you don't state the purpose, it will give the examiner no clue about what you are saying.

Otherwise all looks good..

Cheers
Argho

[Somnil]

Thanks Argho. Will keep it in mind.