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[Soso]

Hi everybody

I have exam on 12 july

Please help me in this essay

Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Obviously, the average of long working hours cannot be able to reduce due to the tremendous competition in global economy. However, I firmly believe that the length of working hours leads to negative social outcomes.
Undeniably, the cities with the longest working hours are economically advanced. Indeed, working long hours has developed the world economy. Not only the rate of the working hours has grown the countries economically, but financial rewards have also increased. For example, people who work long hours are often getting high salaries. As a result, the highest salaries could solve the most crucial issues such as the cost of living, rising prices, and even trying to live a stable life through facing difficult circumstances.
On the other hand, work long hours tend to affect negative social outcomes. Firstly, social relations of individuals who work extremely long hours are fewer than others who work normal hours. Certainly, workers have to spend their time with their colleagues, managers, and even traveling for business. Secondly, the average of working long hours has a tendency to reduce personal relationships such as staying with family for a long time or take care of children. For instance, parents who work for long periods of time are usually getting busy from their family life due to working long hours that may cause harmful health effects such as fatigue, sleep deprivation, and stress. Consequently, long hours working might be able to create negative social results.
To sum up, despite the fact that the countries which attempt to extend working hours have the highest global economy, people who work for a long time suffering from negative social consequences.

words (272)

[Soso]

Please help me

[argho1985]

Hi everybody

I have exam on 12 july

Please help me in this essay

Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Obviously, the average of long working hours cannot be able to reduce due to the tremendous competition in global economy. However, I firmly believe that the length of working hours leads to negative social outcomes.
Undeniably, the cities with the longest working hours are economically advanced. Indeed, working long hours has developed the world economy. Not only the rate of the working hours has grown the countries economically, but financial rewards have also increased. For example, people who work long hours are often getting high salaries. As a result, the highest salaries could solve the most crucial issues such as the cost of living, rising prices, and even trying to live a stable life through facing difficult circumstances.
On the other hand, work long hours tend to affect negative social outcomes. Firstly, social relations of individuals who work extremely long hours are fewer than others who work normal hours. Certainly, workers have to spend their time with their colleagues, managers, and even traveling for business. Secondly, the average of working long hours has a tendency to reduce personal relationships such as staying with family for a long time or take care of children. For instance, parents who work for long periods of time are usually getting busy from their family life due to working long hours that may cause harmful health effects such as fatigue, sleep deprivation, and stress. Consequently, long hours working might be able to create negative social results.
To sum up, despite the fact that the countries which attempt to extend working hours have the highest global economy, people who work for long time suffering from negative social consequences.

words (272)

The word limit is fine, however you can't start with Obviously, you need to write a intro para which I see is missing from your essay.

Regarding your supporting paragraphs, I reckon you saying that people are motivated to work for long hours because they think that they will get higher salary which is a advantage..So why put a linking word as Undeniably , you can use linking word as At present, To begin with, Generally..

Second para. you used On the other hand.. I didn't saw you stated on one hand before.. so restrict yourself in using these.. You may use, however, On the contrary

In conclusion, there is no recommendation.. if you do think that this development is negative so what extra thing they should do in order to change negative to positive..

Hope you understand what I am saying?

Argho

[cranford cliff]

try to introduce the essay more simply:
The economic success of many countries has relied on citizens working very long hours. However, I firmly believe this has had a negative impact on the social and family life of these workers.