Plz help me with task 2 in academic

[kevinyoung]

Could anyone tell me what band this essay can get ? And pls correct the mistakes if possible. I really appreciate you help.

Several languages are dying out every year. Some people do not think it is important and say that our life will be simpler with fewer languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is an observed fact that languages from different parts of the world are drying out every year. Some people claim that the extinction of less used languages is a positive trend and lifestyle will be positively influenced. This essay supports this view.

Those who argue for the dying languages claim that each kind of language should be valued as heritage of human beings no matter how many people are using it. This is because that the language is a symbol of culture development which is extremely critical for all human beings.

Nevertheless, in my view, international communication would be much easier if people from different countries share with same languages. It is more likely for the general public to experience the culture and custom in other nations as they will feel comfortable using the same language. Therefore, multinational tourism will be highly developed and nations' GDP will be boosted, contributing to the improvement of public's living standard.

Also, with fewer languages, multinational business will be encouraged, since international businessmen may feel easier to communicate with local customers. For example, compared to Japanese businessmen, Americans are more possible to invest in another country which has English as an official language. As a result, economy of both nations will be enhanced. The merits are clear.

In conclusion, in view of the convenience in international communication and business transaction, fewer languages make our life easier and simpler. However, every language should be treated as the wealth of mankind so that countries should shoulder their responsibilities to try to save more dying languages.

[cranford cliff]

However, every language should be treated as the wealth of mankind so that countries should shoulder their responsibilities to try to save more dying languages

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you should not contradict in the last paragraph what you have argued throughout the essay! Have confidence in your opinion , and argue it, consistently and logically.

[kevinyoung]

Thank you for your advice. U r right, i should't use however there. I probably should just mention the opposed opinion at the beginning of last paragraph and restate my opinion. What do you think? what band do you think i can get? Thank you!!!!!