Writing Task -II needs evaluation-

[Ravian]

Being a celebrity-such as famous film star or sports personality-brings problems as well as benefits.
Do you think that a being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?
______________________________________________________________________
A well known film actor or a sports player while enjoy some benefits, also interact with problems during the course of their careers.Now, a number of good and bad points can be drawn from above mentioned details that will be illustrated in the following paragraphs.

Firstly, being a celebrity fetches fame and wealth in a considerable amount.People always try to have a glimpse of their ideals and sometimes can do anything to make it viable.Abundant financial benefits are always available to a well know hero. For example, Paris Hilton a World renowned film artist has achieved a fame about which a lay woman can never think of.Although, both belong to the same class of gender but acceptance makes a clear difference. Thus, all the celebrities on the planet are well know and enjoy huge money as a compliment for their involvement in special tasks they perform.

Secondly,Life styles of such celebrities is totally varied from a lay man. Round the clock working for the completion of projects undertaken by them creates a stress in their life. It leads them to take drugs and severe drinking for getting a bit relaxation. As a result, they become a victim of bad health. For example, Britney Spears a leading Britain Singer has been locked up many times due to driving a vehicle on the main road after severe drinking.At the same time, such sort of people are unable to enjoy their social lives.Most of the time, they remain away from their family, friends and the loved ones and keep them busy in the working. This social isolation from their nearest ones make them rude and uncomfortable.

Finally, apart from the problems, i strongly believe that fame and wealth are the matchless factors that are always counted for the success in the life of a celebrity. Hence, there are more benefits as compared to problems in the life of a well known Hero.

[argho1985]

Being a celebrity-such as famous film star or sports personality-brings problems as well as benefits.
Do you think that a being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?
______________________________________________________________________
A well known film actor or a sports player while enjoy some benefits, also interact with problems during the course of their careers.Now, a number of good and bad points can be drawn from above mentioned details that will be illustrated in the following paragraphs.

Corrected : Over the years, celebrities had encountered various benefits and also problems. The view of whether becoming a well known person brings more advantages or disadvantages is still under observation. I personally, feel that every coin has its two sides and with regards to this , following paragraphs will voice the explanation and will end in a meaningful conclusion.

Firstly, being a celebrity fetches fame and wealth in a considerable amount.People always try to have a glimpse of their ideals and sometimes can do anything to make it viable.Abundant financial benefits are always available to a well know hero. For example, Paris Hilton a World renowned film artist has achieved a fame about which a lay woman can never think of.Although, both belong to the same class of gender but acceptance makes a clear difference. Thus, all the celebrities on the planet are well know and enjoy huge money as a compliment for their involvement in special tasks they perform.

Corrected: At present, fame and money automatically develops when a particular person's image is flashed in market. Normal person can't achieve this because these benefits depends upon the type of society and level of networking. Often, these individuals are associated with high class society who gives more importance on beauty not brains. For example, there is a clear difference marked between a lay man and Indian actor Sharukh Khan on the based of lifestyle. As a consequence, it all narrows down to the amount of money they are drawing which is obviously seen high in case of celebrities.

Secondly,Life styles of such celebrities is totally varied from a lay man. Round the clock working for the completion of projects undertaken by them creates a stress in their life. It leads them to take drugs and severe drinking for getting a bit relaxation. As a result, they become a victim of bad health. For example, Britney Spears a leading Britain Singer has been locked up many times due to driving a vehicle on the main road after severe drinking.At the same time, such sort of people are unable to enjoy their social lives.Most of the time, they remain away from their family, friends and the loved ones and keep them busy in the working. This social isolation from their nearest ones make them rude and uncomfortable.

Corrected: However, many advocates have pointed out that, generally with the publicity , a particular person fail to understand the importance of real life existence. Many are seen wasting their money in pubs or drugs in order to promote their lavish life style. This in turns develops them as a victim of real drug possession and ends in ruining their career.
For example, it was recorded on the television about the road rage accident where a well-known Indian actor, Salman Khan was charged with a attempt to kill road side poor people with his car. After investigation it was released that, he was high in drugs while driving his vehicle. As a result, his acting career was at the verge of closing down and he was sent to jail for 3 years.

Therefore, to sum up, it is clear that although becoming a popular person brings wealth but people should not take it for granted. They should understand the value of money and emotions of other people in order to be well respectable in the audience.

Finally, apart from the problems, i strongly believe that fame and wealth are the matchless factors that are always counted for the success in the life of a celebrity. Hence, there are more benefits as compared to problems in the life of a well known Hero.

Hi,

I had a quick look at your essay.

Intro was a bit confusing so I made an attempt to correct that..
Conclusion lack in recommendation..

However I have written my version..

Thanks
Argho

[Ravian]

Thank you for your time to review an essay, but you have made it more severe by adding your own ideas!

[argho1985]

Thank you for your time to review an essay, but you have made it more severe by adding your own ideas!

Hi Ravian,

I am unclear what you meant.. severe can be good or bad.. Please explain..

Argho

[Ravian]

Dear argho,
Sever means "BAD".

[argho1985]

Dear argho,
Sever means "BAD".

Hi Ravian,

In what way you think its bad.. kindly elaborate!!!

Argho