Writing Task 2

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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prabhjot kaur
Posts: 25
Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2014 2:18 am

Writing Task 2

Post by prabhjot kaur »

TEENAGERS HAVE PROBLEMS AT HOME AND SCHOOL.WHAT DIFFICULTIES ARE THEY FACING NOW?WHAT SHOULD PARENTS AND SCHOOL DO TO HELP THEM?

Teenage years are most delicate and vulnerable years of an individual's life.These are beautiful years but they have their own problems and difficulties.I will delve into some problems which teenagers face at home and school in the following paragraphs and will share some solutions of them.
One of the big problem which teenagers experience at home is identity crisis,means they are not considered children and not treated as adult.If they play with kids they are rebuked by parents and if they sit with adults,they are asked to go away.They also face some hormonal changes of puberty which prove stressful for some.In addition,due to advancement parents have become workaholics and do not have spare time for their children where as teenagers need their parents attention in these crucial years.
Furthermore,parents want to take all decisions for their adolescents like selecting their studies.They do not care about the aptitude of their child force the subjects of their own choice on his/her.Teens are being compelled to follow the traditional culture by their peers where as they want to adopt global culture which they are exposed to.To solve this problem parents need to spend their quality time with their children in these impressionable years.The child's aptitude should not be ignored.
In school also teenagers encounter with many problems,such as pressure of study,classroom bullying by some students and favoritism shown by teachers can be troublesome for teenagers.To add to it,when teens sexsualy abuse by other students and teachers,they feel embarrassed to tell other and then they commit suicide.Teens can easily be swayed to take drugs under peer pressure which is common in now days.In schools taking part in extra-curicular can be helpful to teenagers.These activities act as stress-busters.Teachers should have unbiased attitude towards all students,students should be treated equally by teachers.
To conclude,irrefutable that teenagers face many problems at home and in school but simple measures taken by parents and teachers can be helpful for teenagers,they can make these years pleasant and memorable,The onus is on parents and teachers to make these teenage years stress-free.
argho1985
Posts: 60
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 4:31 am

Re: Writing Task 2

Post by argho1985 »

prabhjot kaur wrote:TEENAGERS HAVE PROBLEMS AT HOME AND SCHOOL.WHAT DIFFICULTIES ARE THEY FACING NOW?WHAT SHOULD PARENTS AND SCHOOL DO TO HELP THEM?

Teenage years are the most delicate and vulnerable years of an individual's life.These are beautiful years but they have their own problems and difficulties ( not clear.. might be grammer problem).I will delve into some problems which teenagers face at home and school in the following paragraphs and will share some solutions of them.
One of the big problem which teenagers experience at home is the identity crisis,which mean they are not considered children and not treated as an adult.If they play with kids they are rebuked by parents and if they sit with adults,they are asked to go away ( you can use "they are asked to leave"). They also face some hormonal changes of puberty which prove stressful for some.In addition,due to advancement parents have become workaholics and do not have spare time for their children where as teenagers need their parents attention in these crucial years.
Furthermore,parents want to take all decisions for their adolescents like selecting their studies.They do not care about the aptitude of their child force the subjects of their own choice on his/her ( Grammar Problem).Teens are being compelled to follow the traditional culture by their peers where as they want to adopt global culture which they are exposed to.To solve this problem parents need to spend their quality time with their children in these impressionable years.The child's aptitude should not be ignored.
In school also teenagers encounter with many problems,such as pressure of study,classroom bullying by some students and favoritism shown by teachers which can be troublesome for teenagers.To add to it,when teens sexsualy abuse by other students and teachers,they feel embarrassed to tell other and then they commit suicide.Teens can easily be swayed to take drugs under peer pressure which is common in now days.In schools taking part in extra-curicular can be helpful to teenagers.These activities act as stress-busters.Teachers should have unbiased attitude towards all students,students should be treated equally by teachers.
To conclude,irrefutable that teenagers face many problems at home and in school but simple measures taken by parents and teachers can be helpful for teenagers,they can make these years pleasant and memorable,The onus is on parents and teachers to make these teenage years stress-free.
Hi Prabjot,

Essay length is fine, you have tried to show your range of vocabulary but in many places it has lead to grammar mistakes..

for example you wrote " To add to it,when teens sexsualy abuse by other students and teachers,they feel embarrassed to tell other and then they commit suicide"

The correct form should be

In Addition, when teens are sexually abused by other peoples including students and teachers, they feel embarrassed and often commit suicide"

You need to see your grammar..

Thanks
Argho
Ravian
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Jun 14, 2014 7:58 am

Re: Writing Task 2

Post by Ravian »

Mr. Argho,
I think people is the correct word rather than PEOPLES....

thank you
argho1985
Posts: 60
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 4:31 am

Re: Writing Task 2

Post by argho1985 »

Ravian wrote:Mr. Argho,
I think people is the correct word rather than PEOPLES....

thank you
Hi,

Thanks for that.. I forgot that people is plural..

I reckon.. you are after my english very badly..

Argho
prabhjot kaur
Posts: 25
Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2014 2:18 am

Re: Writing Task 2

Post by prabhjot kaur »

Hii MR Argho,

actually i have tried to use simple present there that is why i did not use "are" there...thanks
hoangnguyen7x
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Jul 11, 2014 10:27 pm

Re: Writing Task 2

Post by hoangnguyen7x »

Some paragraphs for the same topic, appreciate any comments! Thanks.

TEENAGERS HAVE PROBLEMS AT HOME AND SCHOOL.WHAT DIFFICULTIES ARE THEY FACING NOW?WHAT SHOULD PARENTS AND SCHOOL DO TO HELP THEM?

Teenagers often undergo some transformational struggling at their particular stage of life. Psychologically, they become more affirmative and want to do things independently or even oppositely to what adults used to expect. As a simple example, they change their daily timetable for their personal hobbies without obeying usual chores such as brushing and washing or participating in family events. These weird behaviors often do not please their parents who still consider them as little children. At schools, a common problem they may encounter is the increasing study pressure. There are more and more advanced subjects to do with higher expectation for academic result. Specifically, they may face difficulty in understanding more abstract concepts in their lessons. They may also feel disoriented in pursuing their areas of interest and how to balance different duties, such as playing football and completing study curriculum.

Parents and teachers can assist teenagers to overcome their challenges. Parents should be aware of their psychological transformation and leave more space for their self-development. They may encourage their growing children for their own ideas, at the mean time teach them about acceptable conduct to adjust. Adults should also share their experience and guide them to think positively. Besides that, schools should have more training on social skills, self-organisation and stress management which would equip youngsters better for coping with their personal issues. In addition, family and school should consult and give them chances to develop their own dreams while showing them alternatives to achieve a life balance.

Bruce
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