YOU HAVE HEARD THAT THE LOCAL AUTHORITY IS PLANNING TO BUILD A SHOPPING MALL IN THE CENTER OF YOUR TOWN.YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH THIS DECISION BECAUSE THERE ARE ALREADY A LOT OF SHOPS.
WRITE A LETTER TO THE PLANNING DEPARTMENT.
IN YOUR LETTER:
SAY WHY YOU WRITING.
GIVE REASONS FOR YOUR OBJECTIONS.
EXPLAIN WHAT YOU THINK WOULD BE A BETTER ALTERNATIVE.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I have read in the local newspaper that you are planning to construct a shopping mall in center of the town.I am writing you to express my opinion and for others that this is a very bad decision.
As far as I know there are already shops in abundance for buying the all necessary things.Some shops owners are already complaining that their business is declining and they may have to close their shops.So you should reconsider to build shopping mall in this area.
It seems to me that our town center lacks an amusement park,this is demand of the local residents about over the years.There are many old buildings,which could be either taken down or re-build and other areas which would be suitable for an amusement park.Families could make use of this area,and can enjoy their spare time in the natural environment which could be offer by this fun park.This should be the focus,when making decision.
Please think about my ideas.
Yours faithfully,
Prabhjot kaur.
WRITING TASK 1
Re: WRITING TASK 1
YOU HAVE HEARD THAT THE LOCAL AUTHORITY IS PLANNING TO BUILD A SHOPPING MALL IN THE CENTER OF YOUR TOWN.YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH THIS DECISION BECAUSE THERE ARE ALREADY A LOT OF SHOPS.
WRITE A LETTER TO THE PLANNING DEPARTMENT.
IN YOUR LETTER:
SAY WHY YOU WRITING.
GIVE REASONS FOR YOUR OBJECTIONS.
EXPLAIN WHAT YOU THINK WOULD BE A BETTER ALTERNATIVE.
Dear Sir/Madam,
I have read in the local newspaper that you are planning to construct a shopping mall in thecenter of the town. I am writing you to express my opinion and the opinion os others that this is a very bad decision.
As far as I know there are already shops in abundance for buying the all necessary things.Some shops owners are already complaining that their business is declining and they may have to close their shops.So you should reconsider to build shopping mall in this area.
It seems to me that our town center lacks an amusement park,this is demand of the local residents about over the years.There are many old buildings,which could be either taken down or re-built and other areas which would be suitable for an amusement park.Families could make use of this area,and can enjoy their spare time in the natural environment which could be offer by this fun park.This should be the focus,when making yourdecision.
Please think about my ideas.
Yours faithfully,
Prabhjot kaur.
I think this piece needs a lot of work. To get the basics out of the way: a professional letter is structured in paragraphs, each addressing a different point or argument. I would suggest this as a rough structure:
Paragraph 1:
Introduce your point: you are writing to the local authorities concerning the proposal to build a new shopping mall in the area. You and many others are of the opinion that a shopping mall would be damaging for your town. You feel so strongly about it that you felt you had to write to the local authority explaining why. You and other members of the town are of the opinion that the money and resources that would have been spent on building the mall would be better spent on creating an amusement park, which you'll discuss later in the letter.
Paragraph 2:
This paragraph should talk about the abundance of shops already in the area. You don't want the shopping mall to damage trade for local and independent businesses. State that they're already struggling, and are worried they may have to close (when you make a point like this you need to give evidence - if the assignment you've been given is hypothetical, make something up!)
Paragraph 3 and 4:
You need to give more reasons against the creation of the shopping mall, because currently you only have one main point. I would suggest something along the lines of talking about how a building as large as a shopping mall could ruin the appearance of the local area.
Try and do some research on similar, real-life cases and see what issues were raised. This will help you a lot!
Paragraph 5:
Now is the time to discuss alternatives. 'It seems to me that our town center lacks an amusement park' states your opinion, something I'd suggest using so explicitly in a letter of this nature. A sentence more like 'I believe the construction of an amusement park in [area name] would greatly benefit the region in a number of ways', and then discuss this further. You have already mentioned the disused buildings that could be put to better use, and the benefits it could have on families and the environment. You need to explore these much further - dedicate at least a few sentences to each point. Use the formula 'Statement, Evidence, Analysis' as a sure way to address convey your argument clearly.
I appreciate that I've advised you change your piece a lot, but I really think your letter would benefit if you used the above structure as a general guideline. The more you write, the more points your marker can give you for your work, so I urge you to expand on what you've written. If you decide to spend more time on this piece, please post your updated version as a response to this message and I'll give you further advice, if you'd like. Good luck!
WRITE A LETTER TO THE PLANNING DEPARTMENT.
IN YOUR LETTER:
SAY WHY YOU WRITING.
GIVE REASONS FOR YOUR OBJECTIONS.
EXPLAIN WHAT YOU THINK WOULD BE A BETTER ALTERNATIVE.
Dear Sir/Madam,
I have read in the local newspaper that you are planning to construct a shopping mall in thecenter of the town. I am writing you to express my opinion and the opinion os others that this is a very bad decision.
As far as I know there are already shops in abundance for buying the all necessary things.Some shops owners are already complaining that their business is declining and they may have to close their shops.So you should reconsider to build shopping mall in this area.
It seems to me that our town center lacks an amusement park,this is demand of the local residents about over the years.There are many old buildings,which could be either taken down or re-built and other areas which would be suitable for an amusement park.Families could make use of this area,and can enjoy their spare time in the natural environment which could be offer by this fun park.This should be the focus,when making yourdecision.
Please think about my ideas.
Yours faithfully,
Prabhjot kaur.
I think this piece needs a lot of work. To get the basics out of the way: a professional letter is structured in paragraphs, each addressing a different point or argument. I would suggest this as a rough structure:
Paragraph 1:
Introduce your point: you are writing to the local authorities concerning the proposal to build a new shopping mall in the area. You and many others are of the opinion that a shopping mall would be damaging for your town. You feel so strongly about it that you felt you had to write to the local authority explaining why. You and other members of the town are of the opinion that the money and resources that would have been spent on building the mall would be better spent on creating an amusement park, which you'll discuss later in the letter.
Paragraph 2:
This paragraph should talk about the abundance of shops already in the area. You don't want the shopping mall to damage trade for local and independent businesses. State that they're already struggling, and are worried they may have to close (when you make a point like this you need to give evidence - if the assignment you've been given is hypothetical, make something up!)
Paragraph 3 and 4:
You need to give more reasons against the creation of the shopping mall, because currently you only have one main point. I would suggest something along the lines of talking about how a building as large as a shopping mall could ruin the appearance of the local area.
Try and do some research on similar, real-life cases and see what issues were raised. This will help you a lot!
Paragraph 5:
Now is the time to discuss alternatives. 'It seems to me that our town center lacks an amusement park' states your opinion, something I'd suggest using so explicitly in a letter of this nature. A sentence more like 'I believe the construction of an amusement park in [area name] would greatly benefit the region in a number of ways', and then discuss this further. You have already mentioned the disused buildings that could be put to better use, and the benefits it could have on families and the environment. You need to explore these much further - dedicate at least a few sentences to each point. Use the formula 'Statement, Evidence, Analysis' as a sure way to address convey your argument clearly.
I appreciate that I've advised you change your piece a lot, but I really think your letter would benefit if you used the above structure as a general guideline. The more you write, the more points your marker can give you for your work, so I urge you to expand on what you've written. If you decide to spend more time on this piece, please post your updated version as a response to this message and I'll give you further advice, if you'd like. Good luck!
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prabhjot kaur
- Posts: 25
- Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2014 2:18 am
Re: WRITING TASK 1
Thanks a lot for this precious suggestion...Actually in IELTS WRITING they don't provide enough time to student to expand the thoughts.This is the only reason why i am practicing in writing letter in just 150 letters.
Thanks & regard.
Prabhjot kaur.
Thanks & regard.
Prabhjot kaur.
Re: WRITING TASK 1
Hi prabhjot
Your ideas are really impressive.i like reading your writing.
Your ideas are really impressive.i like reading your writing.
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prabhjot kaur
- Posts: 25
- Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2014 2:18 am
Re: WRITING TASK 1
hii,
i am very glad that you liked my ideas...Thanks
i am very glad that you liked my ideas...Thanks
Re: WRITING TASK 1
what band did you get?
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prabhjot kaur
- Posts: 25
- Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2014 2:18 am
Re: WRITING TASK 1
i got 6 band overall ...
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ratemywork_Deepak
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Sat Mar 07, 2015 8:00 pm
Re: WRITING TASK 1
Dear Sir/Mam,
I read in the local newspaper that you are planning to build a shopping mall in the centre of the city. I want to express my opinion and of others that this is a very bad decision. Money and resources can be better utilized. For example : Constructing an amusement park.
There are abundant of shops in centre of the town that caters to every day needs.Local businesses and shop-keepers are already complaining that their trade has fallen. Some of them have already shut down the business.Why build more when we have plenty to choose from? Also shopping centre can ruin the iconic tourist image of the area. The city centre is popular among tourists as it hosts some famous city museums and monuments.
Our town does not have a family place yet. People have to drive miles if they want to enjoy rides and spend quality time with their partner and kids.Amusement park is the solution and will definately be useful for local residents as well as other travellers.Families can spend quality time togather while enjoying rides. It will also build the city image as that of fun and youtful place and will attract many people.
Please consider my idea. There is a huge demand for such a spot in the city.
Yours Faithfully,
Deepak
I read in the local newspaper that you are planning to build a shopping mall in the centre of the city. I want to express my opinion and of others that this is a very bad decision. Money and resources can be better utilized. For example : Constructing an amusement park.
There are abundant of shops in centre of the town that caters to every day needs.Local businesses and shop-keepers are already complaining that their trade has fallen. Some of them have already shut down the business.Why build more when we have plenty to choose from? Also shopping centre can ruin the iconic tourist image of the area. The city centre is popular among tourists as it hosts some famous city museums and monuments.
Our town does not have a family place yet. People have to drive miles if they want to enjoy rides and spend quality time with their partner and kids.Amusement park is the solution and will definately be useful for local residents as well as other travellers.Families can spend quality time togather while enjoying rides. It will also build the city image as that of fun and youtful place and will attract many people.
Please consider my idea. There is a huge demand for such a spot in the city.
Yours Faithfully,
Deepak