Please assess general task 2

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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simar178
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Apr 28, 2014 11:51 am

Please assess general task 2

Post by simar178 »

Today more people are travelling than ever before.
Why is this the case?
What are the benefits of travelling for the travellers?


With the change in time since last decade there has been huge disparities in the number of travellers around the world. Certainly this change can majorly be seen owing to business trades and tourism industries which offers unlimited merits to them.

Firstly, businessmen are more likely to trade from non-native states with the great deal of partnership which benefits to their business. Dealing with other states inevitably strengthens the bond between states and also profits customers with traditional and regional goods. For instance, in India trading of woollen clothes from north India is quite famous across the country which serves reasonable and assured quality country wide. Thus, due to such exchange, entrepreneur have to travel for business meetings from one place to another. Moreover, increasing job opportunities at metro cities have also forced working people to move within cities on daily, weekly and monthly basis which provide much satisfactory jobs than local companies.

Secondly, rampantly emerging tourism industries have also contributed heavily on rate of travelling. It has been seen that people avail amusing travel packages offer from their travel agents which creates unlimited refreshments and tourism experiences. Also this helps to explore non-native places which brings understanding of various culture and values. Therefore, travelling to various places caters more fun and entertainment.

In the nutshell, scaling business on various level and increasing tourism are widely responsible for increasing travelling with unlimited advantages to both business owners and customers.

240 words
devaraj
Posts: 18
Joined: Thu Jul 24, 2014 5:34 pm
Location: Chennai, INDIA

Re: Please assess general task 2

Post by devaraj »

You will loose one band for task incomplete need 250 words. You will 5 or 5.5 band.
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Flick
Grammar Checker
Grammar Checker
Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: Please assess general task 2

Post by Flick »

simar178 wrote:Today more people are travelling than ever before.
Why is this the case?
What are the benefits of travelling for the travellers?


With the change in time since last decade there has been huge disparities in the number of travellers around the world. (<-- Reword to: As the world changes, the number of people travelling around the world is increasing.) Certainly this change can be attributed to business and tourism industries which offer many benefits to travellers.

Firstly, businessmen are more likely to trade from non-native states with the great deal of partnership which benefits to their business. (<-- Reword to: Firstly, businesses are more likely to be successful if they trade internationally.) Dealing with other countries inevitably strengthens the bond between countries and also profits customers with traditional and regional goods. For instance, in India the trading of woollen clothes from north India is quite famous across the country and provides reasonable and assured quality country-wide. Thus, due to such an exchange, entrepreneurs have to travel for business meetings from one place to another. Moreover, increasing job opportunities in cities have also forced working people to commute into the cities on a daily, weekly and monthly basis.

Secondly, rampantly emerging tourism industries have also contributed heavily to the number of people travelling. It has been seen that people are happy to pay for exciting and fun travel packages offered by their travel agents which creates a memorable tourism experience. Also this helps to explore other countries which fosters understanding of various cultures and values. Therefore, travelling to various countries is both fun and educational.

In conclusion, international businesses and increasing tourism are widely responsible for the increasing number of people travelling which has led to advantages for both business owners and customers.

240 words
saqibali
Posts: 452
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2014 6:56 am

Re: Please assess general task 2

Post by saqibali »

Sentence structure in introduction paragraph need revision
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