My First Writing!!Academic Writing Task 1!

[Charmy]

This is my first writing and I know it's horrible. Any advice on how to improve my writing would be greatly appreciated.

The table is a clear illustration of the percentages of people living in poverty in Australia in 1999, categorized according to different family types.
One notable trait that this table shows is that couples are less likely to live in poverty than singles. In aged families, singles living in poverty account for 6%, while couples only occupy 4%. In families with no children, there’s a huge disparity between singles accounting for 19% and couples occupying only 7%, being a 12% gap. In families that have children, singles being the highest poverty percentage accounting for 21%, making a 9% gap from couples occupying only 12%.
All in all, the percentage of poverty in all household is 11%.

[Flick]

The table is a clear illustration of the percentages of people living in poverty in Australia in 1999, categorized according to different family types. (<-- Reword to: The table below shows the proportion of people living in poverty in Australia in 1999, according to family type.)

One notable trait is that couples are less likely to live in poverty than singles. In aged families, singles living in poverty account for 6%, while couples only account for 4%. In families with no children, there’s a huge disparity between singles, accounting for 19%, and couples accounting for only 7% - a 12% difference. In families that have children, singles have the highest poverty percentage at 21%, 9% higher than couples, accounting for only 12%.

All in all, the percentage of poverty in all household is 11%, with single family types accounting for the majority.

[Charmy]

Thanks for your help.