Some people think that hard working and determination are the key factors for being successful in the life; other people feel that other factors are important. Discuss both sides, what is your opinion?
Please suggest me how can I improve my writing. Thanks in advance
No one can deny the fact that every individual desire to be successful in life. Some argue that hard working and determination are the key features to accomplish the goal. However, others disagree and believe that health and qualifications play an equally important role to achieve success. Let us analyse both sides of view before reaching any conclusion.
On the one hand, hard work and determination plays an important part to reach the targeted goal. Take Bill Gates as an example. He is one of the successful business tycoons of the world. He was restricted from his school, but he was able to be the world’s richest person due to his determinations and efforts. This clearly proves that if the person is keen on achieving targeted goal, his willpower and efforts count.
On the other hand, others advocate that health and qualification are more important to become successful in life. For instance, in this twenty first century people cannot get job only for his willpower and hard work, what counts is degree in hand. Similarly success cannot be gained if the person is unhealthy, meaning that if the person is unhealthy his productivity will be low. As a result, lacking behind will only is the option because this is a competitive world where everyone is seeking opportunity. Thus, it is proven that health and university degree are equally important.
To conclude, after analysing all the aspect it seems that to be a successful person all the component like hard work, determination, health and qualification plays a pivotal role. It depends on people profession and career what he choose because if a person wish to be a successful dancer constant practice is needed, but to be a doctor university degree is valued rather than practice.
To Became Successful
Re: To Became Successful
Aditi wrote:Some people think that hard working and determination are the key factors for being successful in the life; other people feel that other factors are important. Discuss both sides, what is your opinion?
No one can deny the fact that every individual desires to be successful in life. Some argue that hard work and determination are the key features to accomplish that goal. However, others disagree and believe that health and qualifications play an equally important role in achieving success. Let us analyse both points of view before reaching a conclusion.
On the one hand, hard work and determination plays an important part in reaching the targeted goal. Take Bill Gates as an example. He is one of the most successful business tycoons in the world. He struggled at school, but he became the world’s richest person due to his determination and efforts. This clearly proves that if the person is keen on achieving a goal, his willpower and efforts count.
On the other hand, others advocate that health and qualifications are more important to become successful in life. For instance, in the twenty first century people cannot get a job based on willpower and hard work; what counts is a degree. Similarly, success cannot be gained if the person is unhealthy, meaning that if the person is unhealthy his productivity will be low. Thus, it is proven that health and a tertiary education are equally important.
To conclude, after analysing all the aspect it seems that to be a successful person hard work, determination, health and qualifications all play a pivotal role. It depends on the chosen career. (people profession and career what he choose because if a person wish to be a successful dancer constant practice is needed, but to be a doctor university degree is valued rather than practice.) <-- This sentence should not be in the conclusion. A conclusion is a summary of the essay, never introduce new information here.)