Please comment on my letter and give me feedback

[Ali Ehsan]

Task

A year ago, you lent your favorite book to a friend who you thought would enjoy it. Unfortunately, your friend has forgotten to return it. Write a letter to your friend. In the letter
1- Ask how he is doing
2- Remind him about the book
3- Explain why you need it back

Dear Adeel,

Hope you are fine and enjoying good time with your family. It has been a long ago, since we last talked. I still remember the time, when I came to your place last summer to spend my vacations and we really had a very good time together.

If you remember, I lent you one of my favorites books, when I last time visited you. The book was on “10 good habits of great people”. I want you to know that I have some personal attachment with this book, as it was given to me by grandmother on my 16th birthday. She advised me to keep the book throughout my life.

I hope that you have finished the book by now and find it quite useful. It would be a great favor, if you return this book to me by express post. Please let me know the courier number of the post for tracking.

Pay my regards to your family members.

Your friend,
Ali

[Flick]

Task

A year ago, you lent your favorite book to a friend who you thought would enjoy it. Unfortunately, your friend has forgotten to return it. Write a letter to your friend. In the letter
1- Ask how he is doing
2- Remind him about the book
3- Explain why you need it back

Dear Adeel,

Hope you are fine and enjoying good time with your family. (<--Reword to: "I hope you and your family are well.") It has been a long ago, since we last talked. (<--Reword to: "It has been a long time since we last talked.") I still remember the time, when I came to your place last summer to spend my vacations and we really had a very good time together. (<--Reword to: "We haven't seen each other since I came to visit you last summer.")

If you remember, I lent you one of my favorites books when I last visited you. The book was called “10 good habits of great people”. I want you to know that I have some personal attachment to this book, as it was given to me by my grandmother on my 16th birthday. She advised me to keep thisbook throughout my life.

I hope that you have finished the book by now and find it quite useful. It would be a great favor if you could return this book to me by express post. Please let me know the courier number for tracking.

Pay my regards to your family members.

Your friend,
Ali

[Ali Ehsan]

Dear Flick,

I really value your comments. Thanks once again for your time and effort.

BR,
Ali

[saqibali]

Task

A year ago, you lent your favorite book to a friend who you thought would enjoy it. Unfortunately, your friend has forgotten to return it. Write a letter to your friend. In the letter
1- Ask how he is doing
2- Remind him about the book
3- Explain why you need it back

Dear Adeel,

Hope you are fine and enjoying good time with your family. It has been a long ago, since we last talked. I still remember the time, when I came to your place last summer to spend my vacations and we really had a very good time together.

If you remember, I lent you one of my favorites books, when I last time visited you. The book was on topic/ “10 good habits of great people”[rephrase this sentence]. I wants to let you know that I have some personal attachment with this book,[try to break sentence into simple sentences connected with cohesive devices] as it was given to me by grandmother on my 16th birthday. She advised me to keep the book throughout my life.Rephrase like Since this is pleasant memory of my grandmother so I wants to keep this with me through my life.

I hope that you have finished the book by now and find it quite useful[why you are adding "find it quite useful?]. It would be a great favor[why are you using favor word], if you return this book to me by express post. Please let me know the courier number of the post for tracking.

Pay my regards to your family members.

Your friend,
Ali