Please benchmark my Letter with Band 9

[saqibali]

Write a letter to your English-speaking friend whom you visited recently. In your letter
- Tell him/her how wonderful the experience you had in his country was
- Invite him to visit your country
- Tell him what you can do for him during his visit.

Dear friend,

I hope you are enjoying your time.I am very excited recalling my time that I spent with you during my stay in your beautiful country.

As you can understand, I just had finished my exams before I visited your country.My all tensed feeling vanished when I visited beautiful places of your homeland.The Gym Park was more beautiful than it was used to appear in internet pictures.Animals of your country are so amicable and the way they mix up with visitors make us feel pleasant.The heights of waterfalls are unbelievable.In short, I feel fresh like I have borne again.

My Homeland also has some pleasant places and I would like to invite you to visit my country.

It would be my pleasure if you stay at my residency.My car and all home facilities are offered for your comfortable stay.

Waiting your reply,

Saqib.

[saqibali]

Anyone who can
Spot the grammer mistakes?
Challenge my task achievement?
Challenge my Understanding?
Suggest better variety of words and phrases?
Suggest better cohesion?
Suggest better sentences and words?

[Flick]

Write a letter to your English-speaking friend whom you visited recently. In your letter
- Tell him/her how wonderful the experience you had in his country was
- Invite him to visit your country
- Tell him what you can do for him during his visit.

Dear friend,

I hope you are enjoying your time. (<--Reword to: "I hope you are well.") I am very excited recalling my time that I spent with you during my stay in your beautiful country. (<--Reword to: "I really enjoyed my stay in your beautiful country.")

As you can understand, I just had finished my exams before I visited your country. (<--Reword to: "As you know, I had just finished my exams when I visited your country.") My all tensed feeling vanished when I visited beautiful places of your homeland. (<--Reword to: "I was able to relax during my trip.") The Gym Park was more beautiful than it was used to appear in internet pictures. (<--Reword to: "The Gym Park was even more beautiful in person than in pictures on the Internet.") Animals of your country are so amicable and the way they mix up with visitors make us feel pleasant. (<--Reword to: The animals in your country are so friendly, it was great!") The heights of waterfalls are unbelievable. (<--Reword to: "The waterfalls were amazing, as well.") In short, I feel fresh like I have borne again.(<--Reword to: "In short, I fell fully refreshed.")

My homeland also has some pleasant places and I would like to invite you to visit my country.

It would be my pleasure if you stay at my residency. (<--Reword to: "You are always welcome at my home.") My car and all home facilities are offered for your comfortable stay. (<--Reword to: "It would be my pleasure to show you around my country.")

Waiting your reply,

Saqib.