Practice Writing Task 2 (please check)

[dearjohn]

please check my essay. feedbacks are highly appreciated.

The burning of oil for transport, especially in private cars, is wasteful and environmentally irresponsible. Taxation on petrol and diesel fuel should be increased to very high levels to discourage use of private cars. To what extent would you support or reject this idea?

Environmental problems are continously haunting the human populace up to this time. Many people believe that one predisposing factor to this unfortunate phenomenon is the use of oil to utilize private cars as a mode of transportation. Necessary actions should be realized to address this alarming concern. Increasing the price of petrol and fuel is a wise move to demotivate private car owners to limit the use of their car.

Less car in the road is tantamount to lesser smoke. As a result, the atmospheric air will be cleaner and healthier. This might also improve road traffic in major avenues, consequently, noise and congestion will be avoided. Trimming down the number of cars using oil as a fuel can actually enhance our chance to battle out pollution.

Furthermore, the tax that will be collected from the purchase of oil can be used to develop the country. It can also be used to fund scientific researches to discover energy resources that are environment-friendly and cost-effective. So, this can be of big help with the country's economic status.

However, one can argue that manipulating the cost of oil to avoid the use of private cars is irrational. This does not solve the main problem as a whole. Primarily, private cars are not chiefly the cause of environmental pollutions, and so, it is only a drop in a bucket. Factories that blows out massive toxic wastes, deforestation, and the like are the main contributory factors of the environmental problems we are experiencing now.

In addition, mostly, people who owns private car are rich and able to pay the price if needed. Increasing the price of oil is not an effective strategy as wealthy people could easily adopt to price changes. Car is more of a need rather than a want now.

In conclusion, environmental problems are multifaceted. The need to find effective and logical solutions is demanded.

[masudsust07]

conclusion need a little more improvement. overall writing pattern good but relevant example and support idea should use. good luck...

[dearjohn]

thank you. i appreciate it