Please give feedback on IELTS Writing Task 1 Academic

[nguoi_co_doc]

A glance of bar chart provided compares for three different types of countries over a period of 40 years in terms of the average GDP growth per decade.

It is evident that the growth rates of domestic product in developed countries decreased dramatically, while the globalisers doubled their annual GDP over this period. Additionally, for the countries, who resisted using a global approach to business, the GDP saw a fluctuation with highs from 1960s to 1970s and lows from 1980s to 1990s.

During the 1960s, the figure was highest in some affluent countries, approximately 5%, which followed by globalisers and non- globalisers, at about 1.5% and 2.5% respectively. After having comparable data in the 1970s between countries, the average GDP saw a profound chance during 1980s. The percentage of GDP of non-globalisers reached the lowest point, just under 1.0%, after 2 decades went up and down, while wealthy countries continued falling to nearly 20% and globalisers kept on rising to 3.5%.

In the 1990s, GDP of rich countries fall gradually, hitting a low of 2.0%, whereas non-globalisers increased erratically again 2.5%. Globalisers got the highest ranking in the 1990s, nearly 5.0%.

[Flick]

The above bar chart compares wealthy countries, globalisers and non-globalisers over a period of 40 years in terms of the average GDP growth per decade.

It is evident that the growth rates of domestic product in developed countries decreased dramatically, while the globalisers doubled their annual GDP over this period. Additionally, for the countries who resisted using a global approach to business, the GDP saw a fluctuation with highs in the 1960s and 1970s and lows in the 1980s and 1990s.

During the 1960s, the figure was highest in some affluent countries, approximately 5%, which followed by globalisers and non- globalisers, at about 1.5% and 2.5% respectively. (<--Reword to: "During the 1960's, GDP growth was highest for affluent countries at around 5%, followed by globalisers and non-globalisers at about 1.5% and 2.5% respectively.") After having comparable data in the 1970s between countries, the average GDP saw a profound chance during 1980s. (<--Reword to: "This difference in growth evened out in the 1970's to around 3%. However, the numbers changed dramatically in the 1980's.") The percentage of GDP of non-globalisers reached the lowest point, just under 1.0%, after 2 decades went up and down, while wealthy countries continued falling to nearly 20% and globalisers kept on rising to 3.5%. (<--Reword to: "Wealthy countries dropped to around 2% growth, non-globalisers reached their lowest point, just under 1%, and globalisers continued to improve with a growth rate of approximately 3.5%.")

In the 1990s, GDP of rich countries fall gradually, hitting a low of 2.0%, whereas non-globalisers increased erratically again 2.5%. Globalisers got the highest ranking in the 1990s, nearly 5.0%. (<--Reword to: "In the 1990's, GDP growth in wealthy countries hit a low of 2%, non-globalisers improved slightly to around 1.5%, and globalisers improved further with a growth rate of nearly 5%.")