please comment my essay COUNTRY'S HEALTH

[Piazzi]

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the
following topic.

"Prevention is better than cure."

Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to
spending on health education and preventative measures.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

You should write at least 250 words.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with
examples and relevant evidence.

In many circumstances, we will feel what we are doing with our health in a long term. With this common knowledge, the Estate should know that what is invested in health and preventive measures now, will be saved money in the future. It is agreed that most of the health budget should be spent prevention rather than treatment measures. It is proved by the number of expenses and by the health of the population that the previous thesis is true.

The money spent in medical equipment as well as high-specialized workforce overcome the expenses of a health education campaign by large numbers. While a doctor could cost almost R $ 10000 (in Brazilians numbers), a well-instructed teacher would have an average salary of R$3000. Thus, while cost the triple of other, both of them are doing the same for the population health, however, in different areas. While one treats, other prevents.

The prevention itself has been shown more effective in the numbers of health. In some serious diseases as HIV, for instance, almost 80% of the cases could be prevented with right use of condom and, as we know, the treatment for the HIV virus still very ineffective. This case is just one example, nevertheless, there are several other diseases that could be prevented rather than treated like, heart attack and obesity. For these reasons, preventive measures are the best way to avoid future serious problems.

Finally, health education and preventive programs demand low budgets, adding to this, the fact of being more effective than the contemporary treatments for several diseases. Consequently, is reasonable spent a large proportion of a country’s health budget in these measures. Imagine how many cases could be prevented and how many lives could be saved with an effective prevention program.

[saqibali]

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the
following topic.

"Prevention is better than cure."

Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to
spending on health education and preventative measures.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

You should write at least 250 words.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with
examples and relevant evidence.

In many circumstances, we will feel what we are doing with our health in a long term. With this common knowledge, the Estate should know that what is invested in health and preventive measures now, will be saved change to save money in the future. It is agreed that most of the health budget should be spent on prevention rather on treatment measures. It is proved by the number of expenses and by the health of the population that the previous thesis is true.Analysis of expenses as well as influence of health of population will prove this point.

The money spent on medical equipment as well as on high-specialized workforce overcome the expenses of a health education campaign by large numbers.Please rephrase this sentence .. While a doctor could cost almost R $ 10000 (in Brazilians numbers), a well-instructed teacher would have an average[ cost only] salary of R$3000. Thus, while cost the triple of other, both of them are doing the same for the population health, however, in different areas. While one treats, other prevents.

The prevention itself has been shown more effective in the numbers of health. In some serious diseases as HIV, for instance, almost 80% of the cases could be prevented with right use of condom and, as we know, the treatment for the HIV virus still very ineffectiveBreak long sentences into smaller ones. This case is just one example, nevertheless, there are several other diseases that could be prevented rather than treated like, heart attack and obesity. For these reasons, preventive measures are the best way to avoid future serious problems.

Finally, health education and preventive programs demand low budgets, adding to this, the fact of being more effective than the contemporary treatments for several diseases. Consequently, is reasonable spent a large proportion of a country’s health budget in these measures Rephrase. Imagine how many cases could be prevented and how many lives could be saved with an effective prevention program.

Try to use colloquial phrases.Do not transform your language words by words.