Could you please assess this writing?

[Kate_]

This is my friend's sample. She asks me to post it here for assessing. She wishes to know how many marks can she get with this sample. She and I are beginners of IELTS practice, so I really look forward to your reply. Thank you so much!

Topic: In some families there is more than one television in the home, with each family member even having their own TV.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one TV set per home.


Nowadays, with the rapid development of technology, people can update information day by day in an easy and convenient way. Among means of media technology that are available in most our homes, television is one of the best choice for each family to access to information efficiently. Because of the increasing popularity of using television, some families choose more than one in their house and each of their family members has their own television. From my point of view, disadvantages of having more than one TV in the house outweight their advantages.

First of all, there is no denying that television is the best way of communication with information. With more than one TV in the house, family members can quickly update the information through the little screens in their own rooms without having to go to the living room. Members of the family can watch the television in their beds, enjoy the music and films, game shows, etc. without being distracted by other people. In addition, they can flexibly spend their time on watching television in their own ways.

Furthermore, having more than one TV in the house can help family members to solve the problem of their conflicts in hobby. Each of member in the family has different lifestyle, different favourite channel and shows, which is difficult to satisfy all the family members’ needs. For instance, children will want to watch cartoons and shows for kids; while their mothers are interested in cooking programs or their fathers are fond of sport news on television, etc. Using more than one TV will let them watch their own favourite programs without arguing with other members in the family.

However, possessing more than one TV set per home can lead to much drawbacks. It will lose the connectivity between members and creates unfriendly atmosphere. If there is one TV in house, the family members can gather in every morning and evening to watch news and discuss more about the hot issues in the world today; or they can watch a film together and share their ideas about the content of that film which makes them understand more about others and brings members in the family close to each other. If each person has his or her own TV, he or she will be soon acquainted with watching alone and lack of communication skill. It is very dangerous, especially for the children because it can cause them to be shy and be afraid of speaking with others in the public.

Moreover, having more than one TV in the house can impact negatively on children in which parents can not control the programs they watch everyday. The children can freely choose their own shows and choose some channels that are not suitable for their ages, such as violent shows, which affects directly to childrens’ behavior and characteristics when they reach their mature.

In conclusion, television is good way of receiving worldwide information, but if each family member has one TV, it seems to bring much disadvantages rather than advantages. Although it can adapt the member’s individual needs, we should not have much TV in the house because not only will the electronic bill increase but it can also ruins the family’s atmosphere and impacts badly on children’ behavior.

[saqibali]

If you kindly send me this in word file, I will edit it properly with excellent formatting.I will do this in my earliest free time.