Please assess my essay for GT.I am new to this form

[raghavim90]

2. Do you think the children should compete with in or outside schools as well for a bright future? Some are against it. Give your opinion about it.


Competition : Though every single life is very much bonded to this word, many of us ignore it.Every one thinks of it explicitly only when it is mentioned like in the sports or examinations e.t.c.
Fact is that it is bonded with us in every action we do right from the childhood.you may wonder how ? answer lies in the habitual actions itself.When we are small we compete with our brothers/sisters to leave best impressions on parents.
When we go to school, we compete with our classmates in everything.For example , we try to get good results during examinations to prove you are best in class.Also we try to be first in everything like sports,music,dance.
The path which we choose depends on the individual interest.Some like music . So they want to be best in that field.Others like sports so they keep themselves involved in sports related activities.Only when there is this urge to be the best in what they do comes the word competition.
Abilities and Strengths developed by children depend on different factors like home environment , influence of kith and kin.The statement winning or losing comes into picture only when there is competition.In our culture we do have a saying that we can change the attitude of a person easily only when he is in childhood.It would take a great deal of efforts and commitment if we have to change a grown up.
So in childhood only, it is our responsibility to make them grow in a proper way.Children can be taught to have a healthy competition so that they search for ways to improve themselves.The idea of winning gives them encouragement to learn the things they do not know.In my opinion it is must for children to compete in and outside the schools.It will be sufficient for them if they learn not to be a failure.
Winning is only for name sake.The main intention behind competition is that every one should be able to learn the minimum required knowledge for them to survive in this world.
If they can cope up with the competition at school, more chances will be there for them to survive in real world.According to me, children should be made comfortable with the competitions in the school first.
Once they develop some confidence, they are supposed to taste the competition outside i.e something like inter-school.
Once they have coped up with this , they are supposed to be introduce to next higher level.It is a never ending process.Once children are grown up they go for work and compete with their colleagues to give their best.Even if they do not go for work , whatever they do , there will be competition.Conclusion is that , it is necessary for children to compete in and out of schools for having a bright future.

[raghavim90]

Please evaulate my essay...I have less than a week to improve....help me out

[trevorlombard]

To write an essay you need to identify a specific claim and provide logical reasoning to back up an argument. So when you choose the topic for your essay, they are absolutely containing someone to validated topic or subject.