Task 2 - Please access my band score

[Kieu Oanh 0304]

Title : More and more companies are allowing employees to work from home. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.


In recent years, together with the vast development in science and technology, distant working has become more and more popular in most dynamic economies. In my views, this is obviously beneficial owing to the following reasons.

In terms of employees, they could achieve the balance between work and family or personal life, which is quiet difficult to gain if they have to work at office the whole weekdays. It is easy for them to arrange time to take care of their children, do some housework before starting their company job with a flexible working schedule. As a case in point is that picking their children up after school is convenient because they do not have to worry about how to get there when their working time is 30 minutes later.

On the other hand, employers as well as the society also get big advantages once distant working is applicable. Companies do not have pay the office rental and other office facilities such as photocopy machines, computer and printers. The more cost they can save, the higher profit they get. In terms of society, if there are not many people commute to office everyday, environmental pollution will significantly decrease, which is a good signal for human’s health. In reality, hundred tons of dust is released to the environment everyday through the use of fossil fuel like petrol or diesel to run. So if a half of number vehicle travelling on the street is reduced, that will be a big improvement to the atmosphere.

For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that working form home have many positive features, for individuals, organizations and societies, which should be encouraged and applied widely.

[Kieu Oanh 0304]

Anyone could help ?

[fas_saf28]

Your logical support of ideas are good. However you write very long sentences, it is good to write concise sentences most of the times. You have followed good essay structure:)

[Johnson zhang]

Title : More and more companies are allowing employees to work from home. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.


In recent years, together with the vast development in science and technology, distant working has become more and more popular in most dynamic economies. In my views, this is obviously beneficial owing to the following reasons.
distant working?

In recent years, the development in engineering and technology is rapid and fundamental. One of the important applications is the effective communication networks allowing many working from home. That in my opinion is changing standard workplace forever and those changes are mostly reflected in positive ways.

[Kieu Oanh 0304]

Thank you so much Johnson zhang and fas_saf28 !

[asrizefanya]

Hi,
since it's academic essay I'd avoid exaggeration like saying more and more, or hundred tons of dust.. a bit spelling problem

which is quiet difficult to gain if they have to work at office the whole weekdays

it should be quite
the rest is fine, probably need more work on grammar, sentence and cohesion. But your essay have a clear point

[Kieu Oanh 0304]

Thanks asrizefanya. I will practice hard.