12 days to the exam, I really could use your opinion for my writing. And if you do read it could you please make a Band supposition?
The modern era blossomed once with the creative inventions, nowaday known as gadgets, somewhere nearly a promising 20th century. Ever since this momentous point the ultimately technologized world boomed assembling the current era of speed and machines. Indeed this perhaps unexpected progress brought unthinkable benefits to the average citizen of the early 20th century. Doubtless, the quality of life exceeded the mediocrity level long ago. Anthitehical, the miraculous development has its consequences- typically, every medal has a reverse. Noticeable among the issues brought in the game by technology is the monitorization system which on par becomes more and more capable. Absolutely, facing a paradoxical matter, is it better to be closely followed on a cotidian basis, thus benefitting from the arrousing gatgets or is it merrily to live 19th century-like while still mentaining our thoughts exclusive?
The odds are surprisingly given to the icky lack of privacy. Advantages of a technologized world are now deeply seeded into the common mental- our phones, social media accounts, GPS trackers- they are all a chief portion of our existences and consequently, we are rarely picturing ourselves without those indispensable goods.
Firstly, the amount of advertisment put in the benefits and hindrances is addmittedly not parallel. The average technology user is higly exposed to an optimal item, flawless and ultimately needed. Contradictory, how often is the same client being told about the perks of handling a smartphone, for example? Lastly, with a considerable amount of luck, once or twice in few months.
To depict the complacency in which technology possessors carry their lives, I may absolutely exemplify myself. I am a vivid smartphone user and therefore I do install certain applications. Despite the brief disclaimer each purchase from the online store product comes with, I chiefly tend to embrace the positive side of the item and let myself dragged in the arms of a beautifuly realised advertisment. Accordingly I counciously expose myself to the immense risk of being strictly monitorized for the simple fact that my eyes are magnificently attentive to the prize only.
Secondly, the impede techonlogy produces is very slightly known. While the customers awarely choose not to care, no one is seizing the responsibility of making the produced hindrance matter. Time to time we are shockingly announced that our gadgets are stocking personal data for global databases, say. For the very moment, this would consist in a prime time news. Thus, in a contradictory maneer, the idea quickly fades and hastily metamorphozes into the predecesor adoration for technology.
In instance it can be said that we are not willingly to truly fair the advert effects of technology. Hence, a genuine conclusion would be that the consistent mean by which the modern world benefits the population is outpacing the disadvantages. Ancillary, considering the humongous state of evolution we managed to achive it is feckless to turn our ears to negative sides of technology as it clearly and doubtlessly is an irreplaceable part of the habitual.
Writing Task 2, Feedback needed
Re: Writing Task 2, Feedback needed
Hi ianna.andreea,ianna.andreea wrote:
The modern era blossomed with creative inventions, nowadays known as gadgets, during the 20th century. Ever since this momentous point, the ultimately technologized world boomed and led to the current era of speed and machines. Indeed this perhaps unexpected progress brought unthinkable benefits to the average citizen of the early 20th century. Doubtless, the quality of life exceeded what was previously known. However, this miraculous development has its consequences. Noticeable among the issues created by technology is the monitorization system which on par becomes more and more capable. (<-- I don't understand what the monitorization system is. Can you provide more details or an example?) Absolutely, facing a paradoxical matter, is it better to be closely followed on a cotidian basis, thus benefitting from the arrousing gatgets or is it merrily to live 19th century-like while still mentaining our thoughts exclusive? (<--Reword to: "We are faced with the decision to embrace the developing technology and possibly lose ourselves, or return to a 19th Century-like mentality and retain our identity.")
The odds are surprisingly given to the icky lack of privacy. (<--Reword to: "Despite the lack of privacy, technology is being embraced.") Advantages of a technologized world are now deeply seated in the common mentality - our phones, social media accounts, GPS trackers- they are all an essential part of our existence and consequently, we rarely picture ourselves without these indispensable goods.
Firstly, the amount of advertising emphasizing the benefits and hindrances is admittedly not equal. The average technology user is highly exposed to an optimal item, flawless and ultimately needed. How often is the same client told about the perks of handling a smartphone, for example? Lastly, with a considerable amount of luck, once or twice in few months.(<-- This doesn't make sense. Do you mean consumers are buying a new phone every few months?)
To depict the complacency in which technology possessors carry their lives, I may absolutely exemplify myself. I am an avid smartphone user and therefore I do install certain applications. Despite the brief disclaimer each purchase from the online store product comes with, I chiefly tend to embrace the positive side of the item and let myself be dragged into the arms of a beautifully realized advertisement. Accordingly, I consciously expose myself to the immense risk of being strictly monitored for the simple fact that my eyes are attentive to the prize only.
Secondly, the impact techonlogy produces is only very slightly known. While customers choose not to care, no one is seizing the responsibility of making the produced hindrance matter. From time to time it is shockingly announced that our gadgets are saving personal data for global databases, say. For the very moment, this would lead to a report in prime time news. However, in a contradictory manner, the idea quickly fades and we quickly regain our adoration for technology.
In this instance it can be said that we are not willing to truly consider the adverse effects of technology. Hence, a genuine conclusion would be that the consistent means by which the modern world is benefitted by technology is outpacing the disadvantages. In addition to this, considering the state of evolution we have managed to achieve, it is feckless to ignore the negative sides of technology as it clearly and doubtlessly is an irreplaceable part of the environment.
Good luck for your exam! Remember to keep it simple and clear.