Please criticize task 2 (word count 327)

[tejas_gokhale01]

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people. We know what they eat, where they buy their clothes and who they love. We also often see pictures of them in private situations.

Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspaper to give this kind of private information about people?

Give reasons for your answer.

Write at least 250 words.
*********************************My Answer************************************
Celebrity culture & media have gone hand in hand all along human history. With democratic transparancy flourishing more than ever in the recent past, media has both fueled as well as exposed both positives & negatives of this celebrity culture. Media has boldly exposed many aspects of celebrities, at times crossing that ever so blur boundary of privacy and inviting some stark criticisms from some of the eminent member of the society. This essay presents two points to justify media's interference in private lives of celebrities.

Very first justification stems from the fact that in return to all the previlages enjoyed by these celebrities, they owe it to general public all the information it demands about them. The royal family of England for example lives a ridiculously luxurious life fully funded by the tax payer. So they ought to have no private life and should be available to public without whom they would not exist. This forms a compelling reason to provide media a right to use any or all the information of these publicly funded celebrities.

The other reason media should reveal everything about celebrities is all sorts of scandals these so called role models to people are involved in. There cannot be a better example than that of Jimmy Savile, who was seen as best entertainer of children and turned out to be a disgusting peodophile. Only if our media could have exposed him at the right time, a lot of evil could have been prevented. Jimmy Savile's case pretty much nails the need for general public to know what these famous people are upto in their own private lives.

Above two points provide a solid justification to media's interference in the lives of these celebrities towards whom we look as ideal human beings. Information such as their dietary choices, lifestyle options or love life should always be made available to everyone in a genuine and transparent manner. Such a culture nourishes a healthy democracy.

[robin20y]

Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people. We know what they eat, where they buy their clothes and who they love. We also often see pictures of them in private situations.

Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspaper to give this kind of private information about people?

Give reasons for your answer.

Write at least 250 words.
*********************************My Answer************************************
Celebrity culture & media have gone hand in hand all along human history. With democratic transparency flourishing more than ever in the recent past, media has both fueled as well as exposed both positives & negatives of this celebrity culture. Media has boldly exposed many aspects of celebrities, at times crossing that ever so blur boundary of privacy and inviting some stark criticisms from some of the eminent member of the society. This essay presents two points to justify media's interference in private lives of celebrities.

Very first justification stems from the fact that in return to all the previlages enjoyed by these celebrities, they owe it to general public all the information it demands about them. The royal family of England for example lives a ridiculously luxurious life fully funded by the tax payer. So they ought to have no private life and should be available to public without whom they would not exist. This forms a compelling reason to provide media a right to use any or all the information of these publicly funded celebrities.

The other reason media should reveal everything about celebrities is all sorts of scandals these so called role models to people are involved in. There cannot be a better example than that of Jimmy Savile, who was seen as best entertainer of children and turned out to be a disgusting peodophile. Only if our media could have exposed him at the right time, a lot of evil could have been prevented. Jimmy Savile's case pretty much nails the need for general public to know what these famous people are upto in their own private lives.

Above two points provide a solid justification to media's interference in the lives of these celebrities towards whom we look as ideal human beings. Information such as their dietary choices, lifestyle options or love life should always be made available to everyone in a genuine and transparent manner. Such a culture nourishes a healthy democracy.


well written. watch out for spelling errors. Its a better essay ..keep working.
however, i think, it is better to present royal figures in a positive way. Because we are unsure about examiner's feeling about them. (The royal family of England for example lives a ridiculously luxurious life fully funded by the tax payer). It is just my opinion.
all the best. you must earn a good score for this essay

[holymanbinny]

Well written essay with range of vocabulary also would get in my opinion a band score of 8

[tejas_gokhale01]

Thanks guys, few questions I have
1.Is long essay like the one I wrote (327 words) reason for any negative marks? I dont seem to be able to control once I start writing.
2.Should examiner's prospective personal values & opinions really to be safegaurded against?
3.Apart from the spelling mistakes, what else should I work if I have to target 8.5?

[holymanbinny]

1.May be , just remember how many line it takes you to get 250, this how you can plan accordingly
2 . Example like this may influence your marks so improve that

3. Improve above points ..you will automatically get to 8.5

( also if you could rate mine essay it will be appericiated)