Evaluate my letter

[swetam]

You have recently started work in a new company.
Write a letter to a English speaking friend. In your letter.
* explain why you changed jobs
* describe your new job
* tell him/her your other news

Dear Samruddhi,
I hope this letter finds you in good health. I am writing to share with you that I have recently joined Golden Solutions Limited and hence couldn't write to you for quite some time as this new job has been keeping me busy.

You see, I had given an interview in this organization for the position of Assistant Manager - Human Resources. The profile is quite interesting and challenging too also they are offering me more hike than expected. Hence, took a decision to switch the job. My job responsibilities involves handling training and development which is new for me. I am going to take care of identifying training needs of employees and chalk out plans for designing programs to fill gaps by providing training. Apart from this, I am working on Employee engagement activities, formulate policies and procedures, performance appraisal so the exposure is tremendous.

And one more news I wanted to share is that we have planned for going on holiday for some days to Bangkok Pattaya and I am quite excited for it.

Hoping to hear back from you soon.

With love,
Sweta

[rairaichan0323]

Hi swetam

i think you did not explain why you changed job

[swetam]

Hi rairaichan,
I have given the reason to change in 2nd paragraph 2nd sentence hope that answer's the task response.

[andytruong1202]

You have recently started work in a new company.
Write a letter to a English speaking friend. In your letter.
* explain why you changed jobs
* describe your new job
* tell him/her your other news

Dear Samruddhi,
I hope this letter finds you in good health. I am writing to share with you that I have recently joined Golden Solutions Limited and hence couldn't write to you for quite some time as this new job has been keeping me busy.

You see, I had an interview in this organization for the position of Assistant Manager - Human Resources last week. The job profile was quite interesting and challenging, and they also offered me more than I had expected. Hence, I decided to switch to this job. My job responsibilities involve handling training and development, which is new for me. I am responsible to identify training needs of employees and chalk out plans of designing programs. Apart from this, I am working on Employee engagement activities, formulate policies and procedures, performance appraisal so the exposure is tremendous.

And one more news I want to share is that my friends and I have planned to go on holiday for some days to Pattaya in Bangkok and I am quite excited about it.

Hoping to hear back from you soon.

With love,
Sweta

[durai]

You have recently started work in a new company.
Write a letter to a English speaking friend. In your letter.
* explain why you changed jobs
* describe your new job
* tell him/her your other news

Dear Samruddhi,
I hope this letter finds you in good health. I am writing to share with you that I have recently joined ( a company called)Golden Solutions Limited(,) and hence couldn't write to you for quite some time as this new job (has been keeping) kept me busy.

As you (see - "know"), I had (given, remove) an interview in this organization for the position of Assistant Manager -(in) Human Resources ( Department). The profile is quite interesting and challenging too(,) also they are offering me (more hike)(good package) than expected. Hence, took a decision to switch the job. My job responsibilities involve('s'remove)in ("handling"unnecessary) training and development which is new for me. I am going to take care of (identifying, remove) training (needs of, remove) employees and chalk out plans for designing programs to fill gaps (by providing training, remove). Apart from this, I am working on E(e)mployee engagement activities, formulate policies and procedures, performance appraisal so the exposure is tremendous. ( many incorrect sentences, wrong choice of words, meaningless sentences and phrases)

And one more news (I wanted to share, discard) is that we have planned for (going on,remove)a holiday trip (for some days, remove) to Bangkok Pattaya(,) and I am quite excited for 'it'( about that).

Hoping to hear back from you soon. ( why you hoping, because you want something back form your friend as soon as possible, if yes, content shows nothing like that) you can say " hope to meet you soon " " talk to you soon"

overall band 5 - 5.5, content should be clear, and easy to read. This letter on many occasions reader finds difficult to understand)