Please assess my essay

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Dzzz
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Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2016 10:59 am

Please assess my essay

Post by Dzzz »

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.


These days, modern universities all over the world provide students with various disciplines in different areas of studying. With such variety of subjects, it is sometimes difficult for student to choose which one best suits their personality. Some people think that students should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as science and technology. Others believe that students must have the ability to study whatever they like. Both sides will be analyzed further and reasoned conclusion will be made.

Many people think that students should only be allowed to study those subjects that will be useful in the future. They believe that society needs more skilled professionals in different science and tech areas to stay competitive and move the technical progress further. For example, mobile software industry is booming right now and expected to double within next few years, which in turn will require a lot more of highly skilled software engineers. This example shows why the idea of restricting students on certain area of studying have so many supporters.

Other support the idea that students should be able to choose their area of studying in regard to their personal preferences. They believe, that restricting students only to science or tech subjects may not only lead society to lose its diversity but also affect its social progress. For example, without students studying subjects such as philosophy, history or art, people will not be able to enjoy new books or artworks in future. Thus, it is easy to see why this argument have garnered a lot of support.

After analyzing these two points of view I tend to agree with those who think that students should choose the subject of their studying without any restrictions. Besides technical progress there is also a social progress that is impossible to achieve without subjects such as art, philosophy, history and many others. I believe that every student should have the right to choose the subject he/she is interested the most.
David.IELTS.Examiner
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Re: Please assess my essay

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

Overall, good. You have provided reasonable points. Vocabulary is good and grammar is reasonable despite many mistakes. The introduction and conclusion are roughly the same length as the main paragraphs, bringing me to my point that the ideas are not well developed.

All the best,
David
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Flick
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Re: Please assess my essay

Post by Flick »

Dzzz wrote:Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.


These days, modern universities all over the world provide students with various disciplines in different areas of study. With such variety of subjects, it is sometimes difficult for student to choose which one best suits their personality and interests. Some people think that students should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as science and technology. Others believe that students must have the opportunity to study whatever they like. Both viewpoints will be analyzed further and a reasoned conclusion will be made.

Many people think that students should only be allowed to study those subjects that will be useful in the future. They believe that society needs more skilled professionals in different scientific and technological areas to stay competitive and move technical progress further. For example, the mobile software industry is booming right now and expected to double within the next few years, which in turn will require a lot more highly skilled software engineers. This example shows why the idea of restricting students to certain areas of study has so many supporters.

Others support the idea that students should be able to choose their area of study in regard to their personal preferences. They believe that restricting students only to science or tech subjects may not only lead society to lose its diversity, but also affect its social progress. For example, without students studying subjects such as philosophy, history or art, people will not be able to enjoy new books or artworks in the future. Thus, it is easy to see why this argument has garnered a lot of support.

After analyzing these two points of view, I tend to agree with those who think that students should choose the subject of their study without any restrictions. Besides technical progress, there is also a social progress that is impossible to achieve without subjects such as art, philosophy, history and many others. I believe that every student should have the right to choose the subject he/she is most interested in.
Dzzz
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2016 10:59 am

Re: Please assess my essay

Post by Dzzz »

Thank you so much David and Flick!
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