Education (private tuition) - Band 7-8? Feedback needed
Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2016 7:49 am
Hello David,
I am Dat, from VIetnam. Below is my attempt at a task 2 writing topic. Would appreciate your feedback, and a possible band score? Thanks in advance for putting aside your time to look at my essay.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of private tuition
With rising competition in the job market, parents have become increasingly forward-looking with regard to securing their children’s future. To this end, parents often seek out private tuition for their children so as to enhance their performance at school. While it seems that private tuition offers certain benefits to students, there are also certain costs associated with it. I shall outline the pros and cons of private tuition below.
There are several benefits that students receive from attending private tuition classes. For those who struggle with the content knowledge taught in school, attending enrichment classes can help to fill the knowledge gap and reinforce what they have learnt from the school curriculum. Moreover, the more capable students who find themselves head and shoulders above others in class may benefit from tuition classes that expose them to more advanced concepts and assignments. The overall positive impact of private tuition would be that students perform better in school, hence allowing them more opportunities to get admitted to their dream schools or programs, and eventually secure a job of their choice.
These benefits, however, do not come without a cost. As students increasingly spend their free time on enrichment classes at night, they are essentially sacrificing their time for other activities. For example, the time dedicated to extra classes could otherwise be spent on socializing with friends, bonding with family members, or doing sports, which might in turn hone their soft skills and enhance their physical well-being. Another downside of private tuition is that it can potentially be the cause of unethical practices at school. Teachers who are profit-driven may fail to resist the temptation to knowingly conduct subpar lessons at school to boost the turnout for their private tuition lessons. Such a practice is not uncommon in developing countries like Vietnam.
In conclusion, it seems that while private tuition may open more doors for students, it has certain negative personal and social ramifications as well. One should therefore weigh the pros and cons and consider their priorities when deliberating whether or not to enroll in private tuition classes.
(345 words)
I am Dat, from VIetnam. Below is my attempt at a task 2 writing topic. Would appreciate your feedback, and a possible band score? Thanks in advance for putting aside your time to look at my essay.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of private tuition
With rising competition in the job market, parents have become increasingly forward-looking with regard to securing their children’s future. To this end, parents often seek out private tuition for their children so as to enhance their performance at school. While it seems that private tuition offers certain benefits to students, there are also certain costs associated with it. I shall outline the pros and cons of private tuition below.
There are several benefits that students receive from attending private tuition classes. For those who struggle with the content knowledge taught in school, attending enrichment classes can help to fill the knowledge gap and reinforce what they have learnt from the school curriculum. Moreover, the more capable students who find themselves head and shoulders above others in class may benefit from tuition classes that expose them to more advanced concepts and assignments. The overall positive impact of private tuition would be that students perform better in school, hence allowing them more opportunities to get admitted to their dream schools or programs, and eventually secure a job of their choice.
These benefits, however, do not come without a cost. As students increasingly spend their free time on enrichment classes at night, they are essentially sacrificing their time for other activities. For example, the time dedicated to extra classes could otherwise be spent on socializing with friends, bonding with family members, or doing sports, which might in turn hone their soft skills and enhance their physical well-being. Another downside of private tuition is that it can potentially be the cause of unethical practices at school. Teachers who are profit-driven may fail to resist the temptation to knowingly conduct subpar lessons at school to boost the turnout for their private tuition lessons. Such a practice is not uncommon in developing countries like Vietnam.
In conclusion, it seems that while private tuition may open more doors for students, it has certain negative personal and social ramifications as well. One should therefore weigh the pros and cons and consider their priorities when deliberating whether or not to enroll in private tuition classes.
(345 words)
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