David please check my writing i need 7+ band

[Qasim]

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city.
How can governments make urban life better for everyone?

Nowadays many people are moving in main cities from rural areas to find better employment and healthy lifestyle. Due to immense population, city life is massively difficult these days. Migrants are facing numerous problems in living in certain circumstances. Governments can improve standards for city life for every citizen. I will discuss this in detail.

Many people are migrating to cities because of less opportunity available in their hometown, and they face various issues in settling in the city. Firstly in rural areas people lived in quite places where there is less population and noise. Secondly people have lot of time available for interaction with others. Moreover there is no traffic congestion issue as well. Therefore when people migrate from village to huge cities they all face these disturbing issues apart from work. Furthermore people also face transportation issue because they need to travel. Lastly in cities accommodation is expensive and people face problems finding the right ones.

However, there are several ways that government could help citizens. Firstly government can arrange less expensive and comfortable accommodation in certain areas where migrated people can stay to settle in the city life. Secondly, governments can build better transportation services which can cover maximum area in the city. Governments can also create opportunities in rural areas so less people migrate, and this will reduce the growing population rate in urban areas.

In conclusion, I believe governments should take the responsibility and provide the best possible system available for the citizens. As discussed above, government should also open social centers for taking input from citizens and improve standard for everyone.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Immense population - what do you mean exactly? Not all cities are the size of Tokyo.

I'm not convinced by the argument that rural people have more free time than city people. I've heard it from students for more than a decade and no-one has presented real proof.

People use transport regardless of whether they live in cities or rural areas.

If the government creates better accommodation, won't more people be tempted to move to cities?

Create opportunities in rural areas - for example?

Overall, you have only scratched the surface of the issues. Points are unclear, undeveloped and possibly untrue.

All the best,
David

[Qasim]

Thank you for evaluating my writing. i will try to write a better essay in exam with clear ideas.

[Flick]

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city.
How can governments make urban life better for everyone?

Nowadays many people are moving into main cities from rural areas to find better employment and a healthy lifestyle. Due to immense population, city life is massively difficult these days. Migrants are facing numerous problems. Governments can improve the standards for city life for every citizen. I will discuss this in detail.

Many people are migrating to cities because of fewer opportunities available in their hometown, and they face various issues in settling in the city. Firstly, in rural areas people lived in quiet places where there is less population and noise. Secondly, people have lot of time available for interaction with others. Moreover, there is no traffic congestion issue either. Therefore, when people migrate from villages to huge cities they all face these disturbing issues on top of looking for work. Furthermore, people also face transportation issues because they need to travel. Lastly, in cities accommodation is expensive and people face problems finding an appropriate place to live.

However, there are several ways that the government could help citizens. Firstly, the government can arrange less expensive but still comfortable accommodation in certain areas where migrating people can stay to settle into city life. Secondly, governments can build better transportation services which can cover the majority of the city. Governments can also create opportunities in rural areas so fewer people migrate, and this will reduce the growing population in urban areas.

In conclusion, I believe governments should take responsibility and provide the best possible system for citizens. As discussed above, the government should also open social centers for receiving feedback from citizens and improve standards for everyone.