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Some children have to live at different place during their childhood due to transferable jobs of their parents. Discuss

Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2016 2:43 pm
by Gurkamal
With the shifting of job , children have to compromise with their parents throughout living at many other place . Although it has certain pros and cons on children .

With regards to merits , children will become more experience as compare to other as an earlier age child have an opportunity to explore various place by living there. Thus , children likely to become more familiar with one's culture, rituals and tradition . child may adopt some different language or culture when child learn some basics of it. In addition, child definitely become more extrovert in future because of having a chance of living different place more than a twice time.

It has many demerits as well, firstly , child willnot remain stable in future if child working anywhere than after few months child may change job or do different place as it become habbit for it. Secondly, disturbance in education another problems associated with moving another place in childhood so child cannot concentrate on academic programme and it effect on its performance . Finally , up to some extent children donot try to make more friend as child know very well child needs to go another place .

To sum up , I think it has many negatives than positive may impact on children's life in inadequate manner.

Re: Some children have to live at different place during their childhood due to transferable jobs of their parents. Dis

Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2016 3:53 pm
by David.IELTS.Examiner
Hello!

Overall, I would rate this essay as 'average'. You make a lot of good points, but don't really develop them. For example, you mention that making friends might be difficult because the child knows they will move, but nowadays with Facebook, etc ....

The conclusion is weak. You should say why the negatives outweigh the positives, perhaps mentioning the key one(s).

Vocabulary is good. Grammar is reasonable. There are numerous small mistakes, but you do use a good range of structures and some modals (e.g. may).

All the best,
David

Re: Some children have to live at different place during their childhood due to transferable jobs of their parents. Dis

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 8:36 pm
by Flick
Gurkamal wrote:With the shifting of job , children have to compromise with their parents throughout living at many other place .(<--Reword to: "If a parent's job is moved somewhere else, their children have no choice but to move with their parent.") Although it has certain pros and cons on children .(<--Reword to: "This has many advantages and drawbacks for the children.")

With regards to merits , children will become more experience as compare to other as an earlier age child have an opportunity to explore various place by living there.(<--Reword to: "One of the benefits is the children will have the opportunity to visit many places and experience new things at an early age.") Thus, the children are likely to become more familiar with their culture, rituals and traditions. child may adopt some different language or culture when child learn some basics of it.(<--Reword to: "They might also get the chance to learn a new language or culture.") In addition, child definitely become more extrovert in future because of having a chance of living different place more than a twice time.(<--Reword to: "In addition, the children are likely to be more confident and outgoing in the future.")

It has many demerits as well, firstly , child willnot remain stable in future if child working anywhere than after few months child may change job or do different place as it become habbit for it.(<--Reword to: "However, there are many drawbacks as well. For example, the children will not have a stable home life and may struggle to settle down if their family is always moving around.") Secondly, disturbance in education another problems associated with moving another place in childhood so child cannot concentrate on academic programme and it effect on its performance .(<--Reword to: "Secondly, the constant interruptions to schooling will affect their performance.") Finally, to some extent children aren't encouraged to make more friends as they know they will be moving soon.

To sum up, I think having to move often has more negative than positive impacts on children's lives.