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Hi, RonyM! Thanks for sharing! I think you probably have a good idea of what you need to work on in general based on some great previous advice. I’ll say that you’re strong in providing examples and using connectors. Your use of vocabulary is usually quite good. On the other hand, grammar is something to focus on, and so is punctuation. I’m going to offer a few more specific notes here as well.
--I choose it – CHOSE it – You were speaking in the past tense here.
--Determined – You said with long /i/ sound (like in “time”), but it should be with a short /i/, like in “hit.”
--According to the situation – FOR the situation
--The black color – just say “black.”
--I am fast food fan – A fast food fan – You often forget to use articles before nouns.
--Stay for a long time in my job place – We often have to stay at work for a long time.
--We have 24 hours shift – We have 24 hour (NO “S”) shiftS.
--The – said zhe – Make sure you put your tongue between your teeth when you make the /th/ sound.
--Tr should be said as said as “chr” – don’t roll r
--Taking few short ones better than . . .- A few short ones
--In the few short one - ONES
-- Few short ones are seemingly very frequent – I am not sure what you meant by “seemingly” here. You might check the meaning of it again.