Kindly assess my essay. I want to achieve band 8 in writing. Thank-you.
Posted: Mon May 09, 2016 6:47 pm
In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
These days it is common for pupils to take a year off after completion of their high school. Many commentators believe that taking a year off is beneficial for students, while other analysts defend the idea that this trend has numerous disadvantages.
Some people contend that this one year gap, which students take, is helpful for them in many ways. Firstly, it is not unreasonable to suggest that this one year can be effectively employed for going on a holiday of the lifetime, so, students can easily get away from their monotonous routine. This can help them relax and moreover, they can learn from diverse culture of foreign countries, they visit. Furthermore, if they use this time by doing any sort of job, this can also help them tremendously , because they can use money from their wages to finance their university education. At the same time, the experience they gain from work can help them in future in getting job after completion of their university education. So there are compelling arguments to support the idea of taking a year off after high school.1
Related to these arguments is a critique that sometime after losing contact with studies these pupils leaves education for good because of two key reasons. Firstly, many times instead of doing work for one gap year, these students permanently start doing different jobs thus leaving their studies forever. Secondly, many teenagers get indulge in different criminal activities such as street crimes and at the same time also start doing drugs. For instance, a study published by Harvard researchers who were studying preventable causes leading to juvenile delinquency stated that a large proportion of teenagers who were pleaded guilty for different street crimes were high school drop outs, and those who after high school, instead of continuing their studies indulge in these unlawful activities.
To recapitulate, although this trend has both positive and negative consequences, I believe that its advantages outweigh its disadvantages.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
These days it is common for pupils to take a year off after completion of their high school. Many commentators believe that taking a year off is beneficial for students, while other analysts defend the idea that this trend has numerous disadvantages.
Some people contend that this one year gap, which students take, is helpful for them in many ways. Firstly, it is not unreasonable to suggest that this one year can be effectively employed for going on a holiday of the lifetime, so, students can easily get away from their monotonous routine. This can help them relax and moreover, they can learn from diverse culture of foreign countries, they visit. Furthermore, if they use this time by doing any sort of job, this can also help them tremendously , because they can use money from their wages to finance their university education. At the same time, the experience they gain from work can help them in future in getting job after completion of their university education. So there are compelling arguments to support the idea of taking a year off after high school.1
Related to these arguments is a critique that sometime after losing contact with studies these pupils leaves education for good because of two key reasons. Firstly, many times instead of doing work for one gap year, these students permanently start doing different jobs thus leaving their studies forever. Secondly, many teenagers get indulge in different criminal activities such as street crimes and at the same time also start doing drugs. For instance, a study published by Harvard researchers who were studying preventable causes leading to juvenile delinquency stated that a large proportion of teenagers who were pleaded guilty for different street crimes were high school drop outs, and those who after high school, instead of continuing their studies indulge in these unlawful activities.
To recapitulate, although this trend has both positive and negative consequences, I believe that its advantages outweigh its disadvantages.