Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on the art rather than other subjects?

[aysersude]

It is commonly believed that art plays a fundamental role which people represent their own personal ideas and their own concepts to the public eye. In my opinion, children should definitely learn the art. Because it helps children to express themselves in different creative art forms which they are comfortable in.

The role of the visual arts in early childhood education has been recognized and valued as an essential component of the child development. Young children use art to communicate to others and convey their own understandings and view of the world. Also, it nurtures developing of their cognitive, emotional, social and sensory abilities. In my view, children need art to give them a voice. So voicing themselves gives them a sense of pleasure. Besides, today, millions of people due to not having a resource, they suffer from depression. It is impossible to touch upon depression or pessimism for children who try to find out new things or create new ideas.

Another important advantage of art is that it allows children to observe themselves and others around them. In New Zealand, children are given the time and space to express their ideas. It is seen as a child-centered approach. Moreover, they try to highlight that a child creates a drawing, the drawing involves all of the child's past and present experiences which would also incorporate the child's imagination and emergent thinking. However, children should not be focusing only art. Like everyone, children also need a balance of all other subjects such as science, languages or physical education in their school.

To conclude, art certainly helps children express their creativity as well as represent their thoughts. But it should be taught equally to all other subjects.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Overall, a good essay. The grammar and vocabulary are good, though the range of grammatical structures is not very wide.

In the second main paragraph, there is quite a sudden jump from 'art is great' to 'oh, and every other subject is needed too'. This transition is not handled well.

I would like to see the arguments developed a little more, with some explanation of how art is useful for people in their later lives.

All the best,
David

[Flick]

It is commonly believed that art plays a fundamental role in allowing people to show their own personal ideas and their own concepts to the public eye. In my opinion, children should definitely learn art because it helps them to express themselves in different, creative forms which they are comfortable in.

The role of the visual arts in early childhood education has been recognized and valued as an essential component of child development. Young children use art to communicate to others and convey their own understanding and view of the world. Also, it nurtures the development of their cognitive, emotional, social and sensory abilities. In my view, children need art to give them a voice. And using that voice gives them a sense of pleasure. Besides, today, millions of people due to not having a resource, they suffer from depression.(<--Reword to: "Besides, there are millions of people suffering from depression today due to not having a creative outlet.") It is impossible for children who try to discover new things or create new ideas to experience depression or pessimism.

Another important advantage of art is that it allows children to observe themselves and others around them. In New Zealand, children are given the time and space to express their ideas. It is seen as a child-centered approach. Moreover, they try to highlight that when a child creates a drawing, the drawing involves all of the child's past and present experiences, and also incorporates the child's imagination and emergent thinking. However, children should not be focusing only on art. Like everyone, children also need a balance of all other subjects such as science, languages or physical education in their school.

To conclude, art certainly helps children express their creativity as well as represent their thoughts. But it should be taught equally to all other subjects.