Please kindly review my Task 2 response

[MBChand]

Some believe buildings should be built in a way that serve purpose rather than just look beautiful. Others, however, say buildings should represent art too.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Constructing new houses, blocks, and apartments is increasing with rapid urbanization in cities. Meanwhile, it is often argued that blocks should be built for the best of their purposes but still others think buildings should exhibit their beauty also. It is agreed that the buildings should be erected with their purposeful design. This essay will discuss both views before coming to reasoned conclusion.

It is clear that every block is built with its usefulness and convenience for users. Moreover, it should be built whether it is for residence, business and office usages or industrial use. Therefore, building should be established by its utilization. For instance, multistory blocks which have enough space for multiple firms to run, serve best for offices, shopping complexes and business activities.

However, many disagree that only emphasizing on utilization of building does not consider its attractiveness. A building may be with enough space for desired purpose, easy to carry out different tasks in its area but may not be suitable with its landscape. Since beauty of building can be incorporated within design of purpose it cannot be over emphasized for attractive look. For illustration, residential houses are already designed with adequate space for people to live.

In conclusion, while purposefully built buildings provide both the beauty and best of the utilization, some still doubt about their artistic look. However, as long as we are fond of beautiful buildings, the buildings built to serve its purpose also includes its attractiveness and surpass the design of buildings only emphasized on their beauty.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Introduction - "It is agreed ..." Who by?

First main paragraph - You haven't explained why that can or cannot be done in a beautiful building.

Second main paragraph - What do you mean by "suitable with its landscape"? I find the third and fourth sentences incomprehensible. Sorry!

Conclusion - I find this barely comprehensible.

Overall, not agood essay, I'm afraid. Meaning is freuently unclear and ideas are certainly undeveloped. Note that the main paragraphs are basically the same length as the introduction and conclusion.

All the bestt,
David