Task 2 - Animal Exploitation - Please, help to evaluate

[vitor.rmachado]

Question: A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.

There are different opinions about the usage of animals by humans. Whereas some individuals claim that animals should not be exploited by humans, others object to that view and argue that they serve to supply humans needs. I tend to agree with the former. This essay will discuss both points of view and present my opinion, followed by a reasoned conclusion.

Some people believe that animals deserve the same rights as humans and should not be used by men because they have feelings and they can suffer, like us. Researches done by some universities discovered that animals are able to feel pain and sadness, therefore, it is extremely cruel to kill animals to generate food or to do medical researches. For instance, a Brazilian company called Friboi kill cows to produce beefs. Recently, a picture about a cow crying before being killed in this company was spread through the internet.

Others, on the opposite, believe that animals should be used by men because some nutrients, such as creatine and protein, are only found on animals meat. Also, they argue that the usage of animals in medical research is necessary because it prevents humans from suffering. Companies test medicines in animals to understand and to remove any collateral effect that those medicines could give to humans. For example, a pharmacy called GSK tests remedies in animals before putting it for sale. Consequently, their medicines are almost 100% free of collateral effects.

In my way of thinking, animals usage should be prohibitted because it is possible to test drugs and remedies without the necessity of animals, due to the technological advancement. Moreover, nutrients found on meat can also be found in vegetables and fruits, such as garlic, onion, and orange.

In conclusion, humans definitely should stop using animals for producing food or to research because nowadays it is unnecessary to make them suffer, since it is possible to supply our need without exploiting others.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

The introduction says you will provide a reasoned conclusion, which is not presented.

In the conclusion, you totally dismiss the opposing arguments without explaining why.

You say that some nutrients are found ONLY in meat, then you say that all nutrients can be found in fruit and vegetables. Which is it?

Overall, good grammar and vocabulary, but arguments are confused and unclear.

All the best,
David

[vitor.rmachado]

Thank you very much, David!
I'll try to improve my arguments for the next one.