Hello could you check my essay any one is welcomed

[Mr Azik]

In the past people used to live in one house their whole life. Nowadays people live in several different places during their life. What are the reasons for this change? Is it a positive or a negative trend?

Recently, many people tend to move more regularly from one place to another than their pervious generations did in their lifespan. This situation can be seen as a consequence of willing to take higher education standards and strict work life balance. This essay aims to clarify these reasons in details and analyze whether this is positive or negative trend.

Firstly, many are exchanging home frequently in order to take higher educational standards. For example, in my country more people are moving to the megacities, such as Tashkent and Samarkand to accommodate their children with prestigious schools and universities regardless where they were born. Therefore, for the last 5 years the number of applicants who want to enter to universities and international students has been swelling rapidly. And this can be seen as positive condition in the process of development of the country.

In addition to this, work requirements are another inevitable reason to home exchanging. This is more frequent in developed countries where headquarters of international companies are situated. These companies work with many countries and they should afford branch in these states with qualified employees to expand their profits. From this point, workers have opportunity to broaden their horizons and accept cultural diversity easily. In other words, it can again prove that living in different places has more plus sides than down ones.

After analyzing reasons why many are exchanging home regularly, it becomes clear that main triggers for this are education and work requirements. That is why, it is accepted as a beneficial to make the world better place to live.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Overall, I think that you haven't really developed the arguments. The points are good - education, work - but you haven't looked at, for instance, which kinds of people make the move. Moreover, you haven't looked at any of the negative aspects.

Grammar is very good, both in range and accuracy, but vocabulary is somewhat lacking in detail.

All the best,
David

[Flick]

In the past people used to live in one house their whole life. Nowadays people live in several different places during their life. What are the reasons for this change? Is it a positive or a negative trend?

Recently, many people have started to move more regularly from one place to another than previous generations did in their lifespan. This situation can be seen as a consequence of willingness to take higher education standards and maintain a strict work-life balance. This essay aims to clarify these reasons in details and analyze whether this is a positive or negative trend.

Firstly, many are changing home frequently in order to complete higher educational standards. For example, in my country more people are moving to the megacities, such as Tashkent and Samarkand to accommodate their children with prestigious schools and universities regardless of where they were born. Therefore, for the last 5 years the number of applicants, both local and international, who want to enter universities has been swelling rapidly. And this can be seen as a positive condition of the process of developing the country.

In addition to this, work requirements are another inevitable reason to move frequently. This is more common in developed countries where headquarters of international companies are situated. These companies work with many countries and they can afford branches in these states with qualified employees to expand their profits. From this point, workers have an opportunity to broaden their horizons and accept cultural diversity easily. In other words, it can again prove that living in different places has more plus sides than down sides.

After analyzing the reasons why many are moving regularly, it becomes clear that the main triggers for this are education and work requirements. That is why it is accepted as a benefit to make the world a better place to live.