Please,guys, can you review my Academic WT2

[yergali]

Question WT2: Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Answer:

Email and messaging have changed our social lives and how all people communicate with their friends. However, it is not so certain that our social lives are worse as a conclude.
In the past, people communicate with paper letter or call on the phone. They used to see each other when they had time. A lot of worker people have busy life, basically they didn't have time to communication with their friends for long times. And finally, relationship between friends just destroyed.
At the present time, contact with friends through the website is not a difficult act. We can send message without leaving house. As a result, people have internet relationships are more closer than reallife relationship. For example, when students don't know their hometask for school, they just text to another student or form-master. In the past, students were supposed to meet in the school library to get homework. But at this moment, students couldn't spend many hours for meeting. This one of the things which has made more people lazy and closed.
Also, I think it is difficult to agree that new social forms of communication have decreased people see each other, In my view, a lot of people go out and see each other easily than past. And now easier to organize events or parties for young people. Especially, events it is a good chance for introduce their friend or himself to each other.
In conclusion, I disagree following topic in the question and believe, what modern forms of communication has improved people's social lives.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

This kind of essay is quite common. What you have done is present two arguments in the two main paragraphs, but not really made it clear how they relate to each other. For instance, the first says that young people don't go out. The second says they do. So, do they or don't they?

This problem is actually quite easily solved through a) the use of modals, b) the use of adverbs of frequency and degree, and c) forming a clear idea of the real world.

Grammar is particularly weak, and I suggest that you mainly use simple structures until you are able to create more complex ones with clear meaning.

All the best,
David

[Flick]

Question WT2: Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Answer:

Email and messaging have changed our social lives and how all people communicate with their friends. However, it is not so certain that our social lives are worse as a result.

In the past, people communicated with paper letters or phone calls. They used to see each other when they had time. A lot of working people have busy lives, so they don't have time to communicate with their friends for long periods of time. And finally, relationships between friends were destroyed.(<--I don't understand this sentence or the reasoning behind it.)

At the present time, contact with friends through websites is not a difficult act. We can send messages without leaving the house. As a result, people have more internet relationships than real life relationships. For example, when students don't know their homework for school, they just text another student or form-master. In the past, students were supposed to meet in the school library to get homework. But often, students couldn't spend many hours meeting. This is one of the things which has made more people lazy and closed.(<--How has this made people lazy and closed?)

Also, I think it is difficult to agree that new social forms of communication have decreased the frequency of people seeing each other. In my view, a lot of people go out and see each other more often than in the past. And now it is easier to organize events or parties for young people. Especially, events it is a good chance for introduce their friend or himself to each other.(<--I don't understand this sentence.)

In conclusion, I disagree following topic in the question(<--The original question should be restated here.) and believe that modern forms of communication have improved people's social lives.

[ieltsstruggler]

Very helpful

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