Please Evaluate my essay
Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2014 7:22 am
Dear Friends,
Could you please correct my mistakes in grammer, articles and collocations as well as rewrite my sentences if there is a better way without changing the concept?
How much do you think I could get with such an essay?
Thank you in advance..
PS: 26 view, no comments..what's the problem
Task: Some believe museums should entertain people, while others believe their purpose is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Visiting museums is undoubtedly one of the most popular tourist attractions. They are the places that give people a tantalizing glimpse into the ancient history and the culture of nations. Yet, there remain some disagreements as to whether museums should serve to educational or entertaining purposes. Both sides of the argument will be analysed before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.
On the one hand, there are many people who visit museums in order to only enrich their travelling experience. This type of patrons prefers watching spectacular visual demonstrations, participating in history or culture related games or simply any type of amusing activity to reading or listening to long educational contents at a library like environment. In this case, if a museum is arranged to serve to only educational purposes, the popularity of museums will drop in the course of the time. Thus, the merits of this argument can be supported.
On the other hand, however, there are culture vultures as many as those who only want to spend good time. These highbrow audiences are more interested in gaining informative insights into the ancient history and cultural impacts of each exhibit on modern life. Therefore, these visitors would prefer to learn new things reading or listening to educational commentary. Thus, it is wise to arrange museums in a way that they would provide visitors with well informed look at the exhibits.
By way of conclusion, both sides of the arguments have reasonable opinions. However, it is felt that none of the suggestions would work effectively by itself. Therefore, it is recommended that setting up museums as a blend of education and entertainment is a better idea.
Could you please correct my mistakes in grammer, articles and collocations as well as rewrite my sentences if there is a better way without changing the concept?
How much do you think I could get with such an essay?
Thank you in advance..
PS: 26 view, no comments..what's the problem
Task: Some believe museums should entertain people, while others believe their purpose is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Visiting museums is undoubtedly one of the most popular tourist attractions. They are the places that give people a tantalizing glimpse into the ancient history and the culture of nations. Yet, there remain some disagreements as to whether museums should serve to educational or entertaining purposes. Both sides of the argument will be analysed before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.
On the one hand, there are many people who visit museums in order to only enrich their travelling experience. This type of patrons prefers watching spectacular visual demonstrations, participating in history or culture related games or simply any type of amusing activity to reading or listening to long educational contents at a library like environment. In this case, if a museum is arranged to serve to only educational purposes, the popularity of museums will drop in the course of the time. Thus, the merits of this argument can be supported.
On the other hand, however, there are culture vultures as many as those who only want to spend good time. These highbrow audiences are more interested in gaining informative insights into the ancient history and cultural impacts of each exhibit on modern life. Therefore, these visitors would prefer to learn new things reading or listening to educational commentary. Thus, it is wise to arrange museums in a way that they would provide visitors with well informed look at the exhibits.
By way of conclusion, both sides of the arguments have reasonable opinions. However, it is felt that none of the suggestions would work effectively by itself. Therefore, it is recommended that setting up museums as a blend of education and entertainment is a better idea.