Need your corrections and notes for T1! Thank you in advance for them.

[Shokir]

The line graph illustrates the percentage of the access to informational technologies in the UK’s homes between the years of 1996 and 2003. It can be seen from the graph that homes of the UK had no access to the internet at the beginning of the period.
Initially only about 30% of homes of the UK were able to use computer, whereas access to the CD player at that time was two times as many as home computer. Percentages of both CD player and home computer saw an upward trend year by year with two times differences in CD player’s access. However at the end of the period well under 60% of the UK’s homes were available for computers which meant about 20% less than CD player.
As about mobile phone its percentage increased stably hitting the rough number of 30% in the years of 1998-99. Then it traversed home computer’s percentage and kept rising in the years of 2000-01 (just under 50%). In the years of 2002-03 domestic access for mobile phone peaked at nearly 70%.
Another stable increase was demonstrated by internet access starting from the years of 1998-99 (10%). Subsequently domestic access of the UK homes went up to over 30% in the years of 2000-01. Then it soared well over 40% at the end of the period

[Shokir]

What mark does my writing deserve?

[Flick]

The line graph illustrates the percentage of access to informational technologies in UK homes between 1996 and 2003. It can be seen from the graph that homes in the UK had no access to the internet at the beginning of the period.

Initially only about 30% of homes in the UK had a home computer, whereas access to CD players at that time was two times that amount at 60%. Access to both CD players and home computers saw an upward trend year by year with CD players at about 82%, and home computers at about 55% in 2003. However, at the end of the period well under 60% of the UK’s homes were available for computers which meant about 20% less than CD player.(<--I don't understand this sentence.)

As about mobile phone its percentage increased stably hitting the rough number of 30% in the years of 1998-99.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) Then it traversed home computer’s percentage and kept rising in the years of 2000-01 (just under 50%).(<--Reword to: "By 2000, access to mobile phones was greater than access to home computers, at 43% and 42% repsectively.") By 2003, domestic access to mobile phones peaked at nearly 70%.

Another stable increase was demonstrated by internet access starting from the years of 1998-99 at 10%. Subsequently, domestic access in UK homes increased to over 30% in the years of 2000-01. Then it soared well over 40% by the end of the period.