Writing Task 2 - Over-consumed natural resources

[jennyj]

Could you please review my Task 2 essay?

The world natural resources are consumed at an ever increasing rate. What is the dangers of this situation? What should we do?
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Nowadays, the globe has been facing plenty of serious problems including environmental issues. According to recent reports, the consumption of natural resources has seen a significant growth which has resulted in a large number of negative effects to the world. This essay will discuss some of those to come up with practical solutions for them.
First of all, natural resources being increasingly consumed may have a negative impact on the global economy. It can hardly be denied that the natural resources are mostly non-renewable. Therefore, if the amount of consumed natural resources would continue climbing at an accelerating speed, the resources would probably be exhausted rapidly in the near future. However, apart from a few renewable energy resources such as solar, hydraulic and wind energy, the world population have not found any other replacing sources for those non-renewable. As a result the global industries may suffer from the shortage of ingredients and raw materials needed for manufacturing, which may possibly lead to an worldwide economic crisis with other issues including a highly growing unemployment.
Secondly, the over-consumption of the world natural resources may lead to other environmental problems. Due to the global overpopulation, demand for natural resources, especially fossil fuel such as oil and coal, has risen rapidly. However, the consumption of fossil fuel would release a considerable amount of exhaust fumes including a dramatically large amount of carbon dioxide and nitrogen oxides, causing serious air pollution and the greenhouse effect. This may lead to more serious issues such as health problems and global warming.
To overcome these problems, practical solutions should be implemented. Firstly, education may play a key role in influencing society’s perspective on over-consuming natural resources. If people are well-educated, they would be fully aware of the negative effects caused by the over-consumption. Secondly, natural resources quota policies should be carried out by authorities, which means the amount of natural resources consumed would be legally limited. Thirdly, research for finding replacements for the resources motivated by both governmental and private organizations could be considered as a pragmatic solution for such problems. For instance, this motivation can be carried out by raising funds for the research.
In conclusion, as an accelerating rate of natural resources consumption may widely negatively influence the world, fundamental solutions should be soon implemented to avoid further arising issues.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Are most natural resources non-renewable? It depends which resources you are talking about - oil, water, wood, silver? This kind of statement is unclear.

You do not explain how the loss of some resources might lead to economic problems. Besides, if it's only a possibility, then you are also saying that there is a possibility that this will not happen. Where does that leave your argument?

Education? Well, the developed world, which has the best educated people, is the part of the world using the most resources, so this argument looks very weak.

How would the natural resources quota work? If you go on a per person basis, you will immediately destroy the economies of Europe, North America, Japan, Australia and likely China. In turn, this will destroy the economies of almost all countries that rely on trade with those countries. This will actually create the problems you mentioned earlier that you claim it is necessary to avoid!!!

Research into alternatives is already happening. What do you mean exactly?

Overall, a very weak essay, with undeveloped ideas that would certainly create more problems than currently exist!

All the best,
David