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The recent figures suggest crimes committed by young people in major cities throughout the world is on increase.

Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2016 1:21 pm
by jewelabl
Young people are the backbone of a nation who can build a nation through a new and innovative dimension. However, when they commit crimes, it is definitely discouraging for a country. I am going to describe some reasons behind those crimes and possible solutions.
The main reason for committing crimes by young people is economic. Every young people wants some sorts of basic needs necessities for example some money to study, some money to spend with their friends, and also some money to spend with their beloved ones. Hence, when they can not avail it, they commit crimes. Another important reason to commit crimes for young people is unemployment. Every young people basically who is educated, wants a job after completion of his/her education. Hence, when they do not get employed, they commit crimes. Nowadays, some young people who commit crimes are from solvent families but they commit crimes only for adventure and hobby that could not be seen in last century. It is mainly for the lack of parents’ proper guidance and also for watching movies that show some kind of crimes and young people try it for adventure.
The complete solution cannot be given but some important solutions may be the minimization of economic imbalance from society that will wipe out major portion of crimes. Second suggestion is to give importance on parents who will monitor their children, where they go, what they do, how they spend their times.
In conclusion, crimes cannot be removed from society from the roots. However, it can be kept in tolerance level by aggregate cooperation of every stakeholders of a society.

Re: The recent figures suggest crimes committed by young people in major cities throughout the world is on increase.

Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2016 9:28 am
by David.IELTS.Examiner
Hello!

In the first main paragraph, you seem to think that it is automatic that young people will commit crimes if they want something. I have to say that I find that a disappointing attitude. Modal verbs? Adverbs of frequency and degree?

And there it is again! If they cannot find a job, they become criminals! Automatically.

Children from wealthy families only commit crimes for 'adventure and hobby'? Really?!

How are working parents going to monitor their kids?

There's some good vocabulary and grammar in this answer, but the arguments are so weak, undeveloped and untrue that the whole essay is negatively affected.

If I were a young person reading this, I'd be offended.

All the best,
David

Re: The recent figures suggest crimes committed by young people in major cities throughout the world is on increase.

Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2016 7:55 pm
by Flick
jewelabl wrote:Young people are the backbone of a nation. They improve the country through new and innovative dimensions. However, when they commit crimes, it is definitely discouraging for a country. I am going to describe some reasons behind those crimes and possible solutions.

The main reason for young people committing crimes is economic. Every young person has some basic needs. For example, money to study, money to spend with their friends, money to spend with their loved ones. Hence, when they can not earn it, they commit crimes. Another important cause is unemployment. Every young person who is educated wants a job after completing their education. So, when they do not get employed, they commit crimes. Nowadays, some young people who commit crimes are from wealthy families, so they commit crimes for adventure and excitement. This is mainly due to the lack of appropriate parental guidance and movies that show some crimes that young people copy for adventure.

The complete solution cannot be given, but some possible solutions may be the minimization of economic imbalance in society that will wipe out a major reason for criminal activity. Second, parents should monitor their children, where they go, what they do, how they spend their time.

In conclusion, crime cannot be removed from society completely. However, it can be kept to a minimum by aggregate cooperation of every stakeholder of a society.