Hi Muxtar,
I think there are several areas in need of polish. Let me go over these areas and suggest actionable ways you can improve.
Pronunciation
You have developed several bad habits, and I want you to actively work to correct them. For one, you pronounce all words beginning with "th" incorrectly. It is not "zer", it is "there". It is not "zis place", it is "this place". It is not "it is da", it's "it is the". Pronunciation trouble with "th" sounds must be the most common problem encountered by English learners. To clear this issue up, you will need to exercise the making of this sound regularly. Be sure to catch yourself in sentences if you sense you are creating more of an "z" sound than a "th" sound. AJ has a nice lesson on this sound. Have a look:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5LO0hHGfQg
The other pronunciation area in need of work is "w" sounds. At one point you talk about the worst thing found in your historical place, and this comes out "ze vurst zing". The "w" sound should be a fairly straightforward correction for you. It involves curling your lips more. Your teeth do not touch your lip as they do with the "v" sound. This EngVid lesson is a pretty good summary:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8NbVrMGrh8
In addition to issues with "th" and "w" sounds, I think you tend to improperly stress certain parts of words. For example, the word "scenery" in English has stress on the first syllable:
scenery. In your demonstration, you clearly stress the second syllable: sce
nery. To correct these sorts of mistakes, try to mentally note the stress of words you hear in every day English. A great strategy is to listen to newscasts/podcasts using headphones. Repeat words you hear as you listen. Exaggeration can help (to quote AJ from the above video).
Unfortunately, your pronunciation and intonation issues lead to incoherence at times. To give you an example, there is a moment when you say "...inside the tower is perfect and
O Sam". I'm not quite sure what "O Sam" is supposed to be. Awesome?
Fluency
Your demonstration includes many instances of self correction, repetition and the use of filler sounds like "um" and "uh". Here are a few examples from your demonstration:
"...which is located in the city...in the heart of the city...in my hometown..."
"When I go...when I go inside every morning..."
"It's almost, uh, eye catching, uh, place..."
You need to push yourself to clear this sort of speech up. To do this, focus on pausing properly between sentences and forming your ideas before you open your mouth. These pauses may last anywhere from 3-10 seconds in the beginning, and that's fine. You can worry about shortening these pauses later. For now, focus on training yourself to control exactly what it is you are saying.
Task Achievement
I feel you deliver a rather full response. There are plenty of examples. You detail your relationship to this historical place. You fulfil what the task instructs.
However, I feel that incoherence really holds you back at times. The listener must strain to truly understand what it is you are trying to say, and I worry that perhaps some of the response may go misunderstood.
Band
Based of the public band descriptors chart, I would place you about band 5 for Fluency and Coherence, 6 for Lexical Resources, 5 for Grammatical Range and Accuracy (I'm pulling this down from 6, as there is simply too many areas of incoherence) and 6 for Pronunciation. Thus, my best bet would be an overall speaking band of 5.5.
Good luck!