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Nowadays mobile phones can be found everywhere in this world. Is it a positive or a negative development?

Help me on the following points

Could I identify the correct form of essay type based on topic and question key words.

I know there are grammatical errors, help in identifying them.


A Discussion Essay.

In today's lifestyle, mobile phones have become an integral part of every person’s life.This led to a position where these electronic devices are found in abundant amount, spanning across street’s to cities and allover the world.Also,catering various age groups from students to baby boomers. A section of people think that, these devices are threat to brain functioning mechanism.In contrast, some think these devices provide many benefits in terms of communication and connectivity. Here, we look at these two different opinions considering it as a health hazard and later, its positive effects towards the mankind.

The negative impact of using mobile devices can lead to different health concerns. For instance, there was a research performed on a set of people to observe the dynamic nature of brain.The results came up with some surprising facts that an individual who uses a mobile for minimum of 3 hours on a day had an unstable brain functioning, compared to the one who was not. Thus, the usage of mobile phones must be restricted, to have a stable and healthy brain activities.These researchers believe that,phones as a health hazards and foresee its usage can have more negative impacts in various aspects.

On contrary, people being aware of these health issues, they still look at the positive factors. These smart devices helps to get connected to their customer and dear ones.For example any consumer facing issues with the goods they bought can talk to the customer service and lodge a complaint. Other examples can be in case of lost or theft of their valuables, they contact from the scene point to nearest police station.As a result, these devices help them to stay connected and pass on the information to the required immediately and instantly in fraction of seconds.So, looking at the advantages they believe that mobile phones usage & development is more useful and helpful.

Finally, to conclude, every new technology has its own positive and negative affects as the way in the mobile phones,usage.The usage has to be identified and must be used, accordingly.I believe that mobile phones invention has brought tremendous change in the telecommunication technology and its a positive sign.I assume these devices some day can help mankind by overcoming all the health concern related to its usage.

I find its a good one.But using It can be looked ... rather we can look....& examples in one sentence would be great in my view.

Hi Shahid,

Nice to know, but can you pinpoint any grammatical errors.

I would like to know how about your IELTS preparation. Have you attempted the exam ? How was the experience?
It would be so kind of you, if you can share your expereinces

Regards,
Bunni015

hi bunni015.
first of all I want to commend you for a very nice essay. I think your vocabulary is really good, but, correct me if i am wrong, I believe that you inappropriately used some words and commas.

A Discussion Essay.

In today's lifestyle, mobile phones have become an integral part of every person’s life.This led to a position where these electronic devices are found in (abundant amount/)(great number) , spanning across street’s(streets) to cities and allover(all over) the world.Also,catering various age groups from students to baby boomers. A section( group) of people think that,(usually with the word "that" you don't put comma) these devices are threat to brain functioning mechanism.In contrast, some think these devices provide many benefits in terms of communication and connectivity. Here, we (will) look at these two different opinions considering it as a health hazard and later, its positive effects towards the (article the should be omitted) mankind.

The negative impact of using mobile devices can lead to different health concerns. For instance, there was a research performed on a set of people to observe the dynamic nature of brain.The results came up with some surprising facts that an individual who uses a mobile for minimum of 3 hours on a day had an unstable brain functioning, compared to the one who was not. Thus, the usage of mobile phones must be restricted(,) to have a stable and healthy brain activities.These researchers believe that(,) phones as a health hazards and foresee its usage can have more negative impacts in various aspects

Hi Bunni ,

I think its easy to answer this q in argument style and you take a stand in the beginning . It saves your time and avoids lot of grammatical error . Also try to avoid personal prepositions to make it more academic . This is what i understood from ryans video.


Now a days, mobile phones can be found everywhere in this world.

Is it a positive or a negative development?


Mobile phones are one of the most sophisticated electronic gadgets available these days. Its easy accessibility and affordability had made it a very popular device. It is argued in this essay that it is a constructive development of technology in this hi tech world. This will be analyzed that mobile phones are one of the quickest and cheapest mode of telecommunication and they also possess multiutility value.

There is a tremendous advancement in the field of technology and mobile phones are not spared from the same. In the past days, to make international calls was a very expensive and cumbersome exercise. However, with the current facilities in tele- communication , its very cheap and simple activity . For example, with the availability of cheaper mobile hand sets and the option of lebara sim card in UK, it is so convinient to call anyone across the world with just 1 pound per minute. This example clearly shows that how easy and cheap it is, to contact anyone across the world. Thus, it shows that mobile phones has proved as a blessing for the people who are working or studying abroad.

Secondly, with the availability of Wi-Fi facilities everywhere, the face of mobile phones has changed from merely a phone to multi utility gadget. It can function as a camera, television, notebook, and minicomputers. With the availability of many free apps, one can study while travelling or can utilize their time in best possible ways.They act as a good source for social networking too.For instance, Smart phones as an example,which has brought great revolution in the generations of mobile phones. There is a phenomenal growth in the mobile users because of the facilities that are available in such a concise apparatus. Thus, it is very obvious that why mobile phones are so much popularized and an obvious sign of positive developement.

After analyzing the above facts, it is clear that, mobile phones are definitely a positive step towards development. Present life is too much dependent on mobile phones in many aspects and not only exclusively for telecommunication. It is assumed that the flare for them will continue to rise in future.

HI Tina,

I welcome your suggestions.But I have a point to bring up on this context

1. On what basis you have decided to present essay in argument style. You can't just consider every thing in argument style.
Well, I think looking at the question keywords "Is it positive or negative" then, as per my understanding I think, these keywords no where talking about opinion but they seem to resemble about the affects of development. "Experts need your suggestions".

Correct me, keen to see your comments about the above highlighted point.

Regards
Bunni

I Know what you mean . See that question is asking u clearly that is it a positive devlopment or negative developement ? You can answer this q at the beginning in your mind that which side u want to favour. Argument style does not mean that u r arguing , infact you are structuring your answer in this style with examples and explanation of the side that you have choosen. I dont know , i may be wrong . Ryan says that it is always better to choose any one side rather that taking a middle path. See , time is a major factor and this is a tip to conquer time restrain. Please watch his videos and hopefully your ideas will be more clearer. I used to think exactly like u . when the question says that discuss both the views , then u should adopt discussion style and answer your question in concluding paragraph after analyses of all facts. While here you can decide your answer in introduction itself.