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please grade my essay writing task 1

Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 2:43 pm
by nag
Write a letter to your manager to inform him you are leaving the job even though you enjoy working here?
a) Tell him why you want to leave the job
b) What you learned from this company
c) what did you enjoy in this company
Hi Dannie,
I got admission in Harvard .So, in order to pursue my studies I have leave the job. As a fresher, I started my career in Isis.
My first assignment is Project A, which is challenging but with Team effort we made it success, and learnt about TEAM WORK.
My second assignment as Business analyst in project B which helped me to improve my communication skills when liaison with the client to understand the business rules.
My third assignment as Team Lead in project c, helped me to improve my management skills.
Different roles in projects helped me to nurture my personality to work efficiently to deliver quality.
I enjoyed the year end parties, team building drill, birthday parties and especially work culture. Thanks for giving the opportunity. I will practise the skills learnt in future projects and moments which I enjoyed in company will remain as memories.

Re: please grade my essay writing task 1

Posted: Tue May 06, 2014 1:49 am
by Flick
nag wrote:Write a letter to your manager to inform him you are leaving the job even though you enjoy working here?
a) Tell him why you want to leave the job
b) What you learned from this company
c) what did you enjoy in this company

Hi Dannie,

I have been accepted into Harvard. Unfortunately, this means I will have to leave my job here.
The experience I have gained at Isis is irreplaceable.
My first assignment was Project A, which was challenging for someone just starting out, but, with team effort, we made it success, and learnt about team work.
My second assignment was as a Business Analyst in project B, which helped me to improve my communication skills when liaising with the client and also improved my understanding our company rules.
My third assignment was as Team Lead in project C, which helped me to improve my management skills.
Different roles in various projects helped me to nurture my personality and work efficiently to deliver quality.
I enjoyed the year end parties, team building drills, birthday parties and especially the work culture. Thanks for giving me this amazing opportunity. I will practice the skills I have learnt at Isis in future projects and treasure the memories I gained working at this company.
Don't forget to sign off your letter with a closing statement and your name.
Good job.