Please assess my writing task 1.

[fasah]

The charts below give information about travel to and from UK,and about the most popular countries for UK residents to visit.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The given line graph illustrates the travel pattern of visitors to and from UK ,over the span of twenty years, ranging from 1979-1999. Apart from that, there is a bar chart as well, showing the most frequently visited places of the world by UK residents in the year 1999.
It can be seen clearly that from 1979 to 1986,the visitors, both to and from UK were less than 20 million. However, the trend depicts some changes after that. The numbers of visitors from UK to abroad increased drastically,reaching above 50 millions by 1999.In comparison, not more than 30 million came to UK by the same year, contributing little to the UK industry of tourism.
Furthermore, during the year 1999, France and Spain remained the most favourite destinations of UK residents with around 10 millions visiting those countries.On the other hand,people didn't find USA, Greece and Turkey very much attractive and the number of visitors to these countries are as little as 4 million.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

First of all, in Task 1 stick with the data. You have included some opinions, which may be false. For example, you say that tourism contributes little to the UK which is simply not true.

You haven't described the line chart well. You haven't noted any changes in detail.

Grammar is very good and vocabulary is reasonable, but the latter is not used well, mainly due to the issues mentioned above.

All the best,
David

[atar]

Thank you about the feedback.Is it possible though to be more specific? What an IELTS examiner need in order to evaluate it with at least a 7 band.