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Please assess Task 1. Tables. Coffee and bananas sales

Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2016 3:56 pm
by FireShock
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The table graphs provide information regarding Fairtrade-labelled sales amongst five different countries, namely, the UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium and Sweden, with a further classification between coffee sales and bananas sales in two presented years (1999 and 2004). Units are presented in millions of euros.

Generally speaking, as can be seen from the graphs, there were a plethora of trends during the observed period. Overall, the coffee sales recorded the lowest level in Sweden in both years, whilst Denmark and the UK had the highest level of sales in 1999 and 2004, respectively. During the same period the sales of bananas had the highest level in Sweden and Switzerland, whereas it had the lowest sales level in Belgium and Denmark.

An analysis of data on coffee sales illustrates that there was a marked difference amongst the UK, Switzerland and Belgium (1.5, 3 and 1 millions of euros, respectively) in 1999, followed by a moderate increase in all five countries, which the UK had the improvement from 1.5 millions of euros in 1999 to 20 millions of euros in 2004. Whilst sales of coffee in Sweden plugged negligibly by 0.2 millions of euros to 1 million of euros, the quantity had doubled in Switzerland from 3 to 6 millions of euros.

In addition, bananas sales in Switzerland experienced almost three-fold improvement from 15 millions of euros in 1999 to 47 millions in 2004, simultaneously, hitting a deterioration in Denmark by 1.1 millions of euros to 0.9 millions at the same time. In comparison with the improvement in the UK and Belgium, the plummet in Sweden witnessed a marginal decrease to 1 million of euros in 2004.

(279 words)
Thank you!

Re: Please assess Task 1. Tables. Coffee and bananas sales

Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2016 1:49 pm
by David.IELTS.Examiner
Hello!

This is a good example of why it is a bad idea to try using high level vocabulary unless you are sure of it.

Plugged?

'Improvement' depends on your opinion, so it's not a good choice here.

Hitting a deterioration?

'Plummet' is a verb and is used to indicate a large decrease. To follow this with 'marginal decrease' doesn't work.

Grammar is quite good.

Most of all, I'd love to see you write this in 20 minutes ….

All the best,
David

Re: Please assess Task 1. Tables. Coffee and bananas sales

Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 7:27 pm
by Flick
FireShock wrote: The graphs provide information regarding Fairtrade-labelled sales of coffee and bananas from five countries: the UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium and Sweden in 1999 and 2004. Units are presented in millions of euros.

Generally speaking, as can be seen from the graphs, there were a several trends during the observed period. Overall, the lowest coffee sales were recorded in Sweden in both years, whilst Denmark and the UK had the highest sales in 1999 and 2004, respectively. During the same period, the sales of bananas had the highest level in Sweden and Switzerland, and the lowest sales in Belgium and Denmark.

An analysis of the data on coffee sales illustrates that there was a marked difference bewteen the UK, Switzerland and Belgium (1.5, 3 and 1 million euros, respectively) in 1999, followed by a moderate increase in all five countries, with the UK increasing from 1.5 million euros in 1999 to 20 million euros in 2004. Whilst sales of coffee in Sweden dropped negligibly by 0.2 million euros to 1 million euros, the quantity doubled in Switzerland from 3 to 6 million euros.

In addition, banana sales in Switzerland experienced a three-fold improvement from 15 million euros in 1999 to 47 million in 2004, while sales in Denmark dropped by 1.1 million euros to 0.9 million over the same time period. In comparison with the improvement in the UK and Belgium, Sweden experienced a marginal decrease of 1.8 to 1 million euros in 2004.