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Please review my task 2 essay

Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2016 7:33 pm
by NehalS
Question:
Modern appliances in the home have become more common, leaving no doubt that advances in technology have improved our lifestyle. Do you agree or disagree?

Answer:
With advancement of modern technology, so many appliances and gadgets have replaced traditional method of doing things. Technology certainly helps to make life easier and comfortable. Also high end instruments produce qualitative outcome and savings in terms of labor cost. On the other hand, this increases unemployment and over dependencies. In this essay both arguments will be analysed before a conclusion is made.

Firstly, more or less all modern homes are running with washing machine and microwave ovean. Most of these appliances are automated. Hence, it can be operated by one at home. Traditionally so many homes were hiring servants for conducting this work that adds up stress of managing human resources. Thus, it eliminates the dependency of any individual for routine activities. That apart, some of the appliances like refrigerator gives flexibility to prepare food in advance which can be consumed at suitable time. Thus, this makes it clear that technology advancements in appliance industry is beneficial to modern lifestyle.

Secondly, in today's world all the appliances are developed with high level of precision. Most of these devices have prebuilt programmed sequence. This in turns, reduces the possibility of errors which are generally exist with human efforts.For example, when kids play on playground they come with lots of strains on their clothes. With advanced washing machines, most of the clothes are washed properly without damaging the quality of the clothes. This is impossible to achieve by doing ourselves.Moreover, it is important to understand that the cost of the these instruments is to be paid once and their durability is almost lifelong. When person is hired for same work, the cost incurring for the same task is recursive. In addition to that, their pay has to be revised annually. So, it can be easily seen that appliances definitely are important to run our homes.

However, with usage of automated devices More and more people are losing their jobs. This also creates economical imbalance in society. With running on everything by means of appliances make us lazy and when situation demands to do carry out that job by us one may failed to perform.

In summary, digital appliances make tangible impact in our lifestyle. Thus, it is clearly shown in here how appliances give comfort and flexibility at less investments. Hence, this essay argued that usage of appliances will be growing in upcoming years.

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Thanks

Nehal

Re: Please review my task 2 essay

Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2016 1:50 pm
by David.IELTS.Examiner
Hello!

Overall, this is a good essay – nearly VERY good! However, it's a pretty easy question. Anyway, for preparation purposes, that doesn't matter too much.

Vocabulary is extensive with few errors. There are some grammatical errors, including some basic ones, but none have a major impact on comprehension. Organisation is clear and there is very good use of connectives.

My main criticism would be that the third main paragraph is too short. You have made a good point there that needs to be better developed.

Well done!
David

Re: Please review my task 2 essay

Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2016 8:36 pm
by Flick
NehalS wrote:Question:
Modern appliances in the home have become more common, leaving no doubt that advances in technology have improved our lifestyle. Do you agree or disagree?

Answer:
With the advancement of modern technology, many appliances and gadgets have replaced traditional methods of doing things. Technology certainly helps to make life easier and more comfortable. High end instruments also produce a qualitative outcome and savings in terms of labor cost. On the other hand, this increases unemployment and over-dependencies. In this essay, both arguments will be analysed before a conclusion is made.

Firstly, more or less all modern homes have a washing machine and microwave oven. Most of these appliances are automated. Hence, it can be operated by one person at home. Traditionally, many homes would hire servants to conduct this work which, in turn, increases the stress of managing human resources. Thus, it eliminates the dependency of any individual for routine activities. That apart, some of the appliances, such as the refrigerator, gives flexibility to prepare food in advance which can be consumed at a suitable time. Thus, this makes it clear that technological advancements in the appliance industry are beneficial to our modern lifestyle.

Secondly, in today's world, all the appliances are developed with a high level of precision. Most of these devices have a pre-programmed sequence. This reduces the possibility of errors which may occur. For example, when kids play on a playground, they get lots of strains on their clothes. With advanced washing machines, most of the clothes are washed properly without damaging the quality of the clothes. This is impossible to achieve without the help of technology. Moreover, it is important to understand that the cost of these instruments is to be paid once and their durability is almost lifelong. When a person is hired for same work, the incurred cost for the same task is recursive. In addition to that, their pay has to be revised annually. So, it can be easily seen that appliances definitely are important to run our homes.

However, with the increased usage of automated devices, more and more people are losing their jobs. This also creates an economical imbalance in society. With running on everything by means of appliances make us lazy and when situation demands to do carry out that job by us one may failed to perform.(<--I don't understand this sentence.)

In summary, digital appliances make a tangible impact in our lifestyle. Thus, it is clearly shown how appliances give comfort and flexibility with less investment. Hence, it is believed that the usage of appliances will continue to grow in upcoming years.

******************************************************************************************************************************************

Thanks

Nehal