General Writing - Task1.... need suggestions

[vipin]

You are looking for a part-time job at a football club.
Write a letter to the manager of the football club. In your letter:

introduce yourself
explain what experience and special skills you have
tell him/her when you think you could start

My take on this below. Solicit your feedback.. help me improve please!!! and if possible suggest which band do you think this essay will fall in
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Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing in regards to a part-time job of a physiotherapist at your football club.

I am a final year student at the state medical college and specializing in cure of sports related injuries. I have been associated with the sport since childhood, initially as a player for the district football team, and later as a junior coach of the same team. My association with the sport has helped me understand the stress a player’s body undergoes while playing the game.

I am currently working with the county football club as a junior physiotherapist since last fall. I have also been employed with the ABC school as an associate physiotherapist for a period of one year. During this time I also wrote a few articles on playing the game ethically, these were published in the august edition of the sports illustrated.

My current contract with the county club expires in August, and I will be able to start immediately post that.

Looking forward to your reply,

Yours faithfully,
ABC

[Flick]

You are looking for a part-time job at a football club.
Write a letter to the manager of the football club. In your letter:

introduce yourself
explain what experience and special skills you have
tell him/her when you think you could start

====================================================================================


Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing in regards to the part-time role of physiotherapist at your football club.

I am a final year student at the state medical college specializing in the treatment and cure of sports related injuries. I have been involved with football since childhood, initially as a player for the district football team, and later as a junior coach of the same team. My association with football has helped me understand the stress a player’s body undergoes during training and a game.

I have been working with the county football club as a junior physiotherapist since last Fall. I have also been employed with ABC school as an associate physiotherapist for the last year year. During this time I have written several articles on playing football ethically. These were published in the August edition of Sports Illustrated.

My current contract with the county club expires in August, and I will be able to start immediately post that.

Looking forward to your reply,

Yours faithfully,
ABC

Hi vipin,

Your introduction is very good. I like how you state why you are writing at the beginning of your letter. You cover your experience and current commitments well.
You could add what you would bring to the club, for example, an enthusiastic attitude and willingness to learn, and why they should hire you rather than someone else.
Great job!

Flick

[vipin]

Thanks Flick.. its a blessing to have you on this Forum. Really appreciate all the effort you are putting in to help us all..