Thank you in advance for checking this T1 sample

[Shokir]

Provided is a graph demonstrating information as regards the proportion of the population aged 65 and over amid the years of 1940 and 2040 in countries like Japan, Sweden and USA.
Overall, there is supposed to be an exponential growth at the end of the period in all countries’ seniors’ rate.
Starting with USA and Sweden, their percentage of aged 65 and over citizens saw almost similar upward trend from about 10% in 1940 to around 15% in 1980 with a notable difference at the beginning. Afterwards, USA is supposed to level out approximately at this percentage till 2020 whilst, Sweden is to soar to 20% and then fall to 18% by 2020. However, by 2040 Sweden and USA are going to reach the number of 25% and 24% respectively.
As about Japan, by contrast, whose citizens aged 65 and over reduced significantly then recovered by 2000, soon this percentage is predicted to go up and outnumber the two peaking at over 25% by 2040.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Use of the word 'exponential' is incorrect.

I don't think that you have organised the report well. Jumping between Sweden and the USA causes comprehension problems if the grammar and vocabulary are not used very well. I think that you could also develop your description of the lines.

For the future, you could have used better vocabulary, e.g. expected, forecast, predicted.

All the best,
David

[Flick]

Provided is a graph demonstrating information as regards the proportion of the population aged 65 and over amid the years of 1940 and 2040 in countries like Japan, Sweden and USA.(<--Reword to: "The graph shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in Japan, Sweden and USA.")

Overall, there is supposed to be an exponential growth at the end of the period in all countries’ seniors’ rate.(<--I don't understand this sentence.)
Starting with USA and Sweden, their percentage of aged 65 and over citizens saw almost similar upward trend from about 10% in 1940 to around 15% in 1980 with a notable difference at the beginning.In 1940, the proportion of over-65s in Japan, Sweden and the USA were 5, 7 and 9% respectively. By 1980, Japan had dropped to about 3.5% while Sweden and the USA had risen to 14 and 15 %.") Afterwards, USA is supposed to level out approximately at this percentage till 2020 whilst, Sweden is to soar to 20% and then fall to 18% by 2020.(<--Reword to: "Between 1980 and 2020, the USA is expected to remain fairly steady before rising to about 24% in 2040. Meanwhile, Sweden is expected to rise to 20% before 2020, then 25% by 2040.") However, by 2040 Sweden and USA are going to reach the number of 25% and 24% respectively.(<--Delete this sentence.)
As about Japan, by contrast, whose citizens aged 65 and over reduced significantly then recovered by 2000, soon this percentage is predicted to go up and outnumber the two peaking at over 25% by 2040.(<--Reword to: "In Japan, the proportion of the population over 65 is expected to rise significantly by 2040 to 27%, much higher than the other two countries.")