I would like to kindly ask you for evaluation of my writing task 1 :)
Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 3:27 pm
First of all, I would like to thank you David. It is really nice that you are doing this.
My next task 1 text is:
The bar chart below shows the percentage of unemployed graduates, aged 20-24, in one European country over a two-year period.
The bar chart gives information about the rate of unemployment among the graduates, divided by genders. The provided information is about the age group of 20 - 24, for a period of two years.
In the beginning of the period the rates of unemployed graduates, both female and male were very low. About 10% of the women were out of work and half less of the men. This rate continued to fall gradually and in July 08, when the values were halved.
In October 2009 there was a sharp increase in the rates for both genders, more than 15% of the women and 10% of the men were unemployed. For the next period between January 2009 and April 2009 the rate of idle women stayed steady, little more than 10%. For the same period the percentage of unemployed men sharply decreased to less than 7% in April 2009. In contrast, at the end of the period the rate of unemployment reached its peak of more than 20%, as well did the percentage of idle men, almost 15%.
All in all, in the beginning of the period both rates began to fall and after a little fluctuation it is much more higher in the end of the observed period.
208 words
My next task 1 text is:
The bar chart below shows the percentage of unemployed graduates, aged 20-24, in one European country over a two-year period.
The bar chart gives information about the rate of unemployment among the graduates, divided by genders. The provided information is about the age group of 20 - 24, for a period of two years.
In the beginning of the period the rates of unemployed graduates, both female and male were very low. About 10% of the women were out of work and half less of the men. This rate continued to fall gradually and in July 08, when the values were halved.
In October 2009 there was a sharp increase in the rates for both genders, more than 15% of the women and 10% of the men were unemployed. For the next period between January 2009 and April 2009 the rate of idle women stayed steady, little more than 10%. For the same period the percentage of unemployed men sharply decreased to less than 7% in April 2009. In contrast, at the end of the period the rate of unemployment reached its peak of more than 20%, as well did the percentage of idle men, almost 15%.
All in all, in the beginning of the period both rates began to fall and after a little fluctuation it is much more higher in the end of the observed period.
208 words