Please assess my writing task 2

[huynguyen]

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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It has been suggested that businesses should make contributions to the community rather than be solely focused on maximizing profit. Nevertheless, although some believe that taking part in activities that benefit society is not the primary duty of companies and that they need not be concerned about it, this is simply a short-sighted view since contributing to society entails plenty of advantages to all.

It is true that businesses are already contributing to society in one way or another by the sole aim of making money. In fact, a company will need to invest in improvements and expansions if they wish to remain successful. This will create plenty of employment for the country, helping reduce unemployment. In addition, since companies have been paying taxes, it can be said that they are contributing to the community in that way. Therefore, the more profit a business can earn, the more contributions it will make.

However, there are number of reasons why businesses should embrace social responsibilities. First, by doing so, they would be able to gain considerable respect from community, which is conducive to developing a good reputation. In fact, acting for the benefit of society at large would help build trust with customers since people are more likely to support the company in return and put in a good word for its products or services. Second, socially responsible businesses can obtain a great deal of other benefits from the government. For example, many countries have established policies aimed at supporting companies that make a contribution to society such as by offering lucrative tax incentives, which will save businesses plenty of money for other purposes.

In conclusion, social responsibilities should be embraced because of their overwhelming advantages. They benefit both the companies and the greater community.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Near perfect, in my opinion.

Well done
David

[Flick]

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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It has been suggested that businesses should make contributions to the community rather than be solely focused on maximizing profit. Nevertheless, although some believe that taking part in activities that benefit society is not the primary duty of companies and that they need not be concerned about it, this is simply a short-sighted view since contributing to society entails plenty of advantages to all.

It is true that businesses are already contributing to society in one way or another by the sole aim of making money. In fact, a company will need to invest in improvements and expansions if they wish to remain successful. This will create plenty of employment for the country, helping reduce unemployment. In addition, since companies have been paying taxes, it can be said that they are contributing to the community in that way. Therefore, the more profit a business can earn, the more contributions it will make.

However, there are number of reasons why businesses should embrace social responsibilities. First, by doing so, they would be able to gain considerable respect from the community, which is conducive to developing a good reputation. In fact, acting for the benefit of society at large would help build trust with customers since people are more likely to support the company in return and put in a good word for its products or services. Second, socially responsible businesses can obtain a great deal of other benefits from the government. For example, many countries have established policies aimed at supporting companies that make a contribution to society such as offering lucrative tax incentives, which will save businesses plenty of money for other purposes.

In conclusion, social responsibilities should be embraced because of their overwhelming advantages. They benefit both the companies and the greater community.