could you please assess this essay?

[dinosaur2007]

Some say you should always marry for love; others say that in an uncertain world it is wiser to marry for money.
Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

Answer
No one can deny that marriage is an urgent desire for most people. But, a question usually arises regarding how to choose the other partner. Some people argue that a person should marry the one he/she loves, while others refute this claiming that money is the prime factor controlling the decision. This essay will discuss both points of view before reaching a reasoned conclusion.

Some individuals feel that life is nothing without wealth. This concept has markedly affected their behavior towards everything including marriage. This is most evident when looking at businessmen, as women frequently get in relationships with such rich men just because of their money, neglecting other aspects that may impact their future life. Nevertheless, many successful marriages can be seen when decisions have been made based on such a criterion. Thus, this is an example of different individual tastes even when it comes to lifelong relationships.

However, many others have a strong belief in the saying “love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage”. Apart from our daily life experiences with love in relation to marriage, various movies depict this idea quite comprehensively, where it is seen that the logical consequence of love is getting married. This, certainly, boosts their psychology and gives them the power to deal with the tedious daily life. It is obviously shown here how essential love can be when choosing the appropriate spouse.

In summary, after analyzing the above-mentioned contrasting opinions, it seems plausible to me that love is what gives life its taste, and this should be considered the principal determinant when dealing with such a sensitive issue.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Great question!!! (This would never be in the real exam - but it should be!)

Overall, a good response. Points are quite basic but there is some development. The range of grammar and vocabulary is a little limited, but accuracy is good and mistakes do not lead to misunderstandings. Good use of connectives, by the way!

All the best,
David