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Please Evaluate my Task 2

Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2017 11:46 am
by Elseady2014
In management efforts to make buildings more economic and fashionable , Open space concept has became prominent trend in recent years . Although this may result in less privacy for individuals , it holds tremendous benefits for both employees and employers . In this essay the purposes and positive effects of such development as well as the drawbacks will be discussed

Firstly , one of the main advantages of open designs is that they offers an economic use of space for the ultimate use for office desks , chairs , equipment and furniture , also they provide better communications between people and thus helps them in achieving their tasks easily . Another major benefit is that Open designs have been proved to be more environmentally suitable for creativity , for Instance , a recent study in USA in 2015 revealed that people working in wide open places are 25 % more prone to be creative in achieving their tasks than others working in closed locked rooms

Secondly , there are some negative ramifications related to this concept in planning schools and offices , One of the main worrying side effects is that open spaces provide unhealthy environment where contagious and infectious diseases are more likely to spread among people , also the lack of privacy may affect the productivity of workers and children negatively , because they will be disturbed by the idea of being watched by other people .

In conclusion , Open designs have served people with better chance of communication and creativity so it is recommended for such a trend to be supported but with adequate health and privacy measures
Open Space.jpg
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Re: Please Evaluate my Task 2

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 5:31 am
by saqibali
1. There are minor issues with the structure. If you check Ryan guidelines on essays structure, you will improve a lot. For example, the conclusions paragraph should have few more lines.

2. You should not use Firstly, Secondly etc. This type of structure is used for the essays where we support one argument. You should use 'for first camp etc.'

3. Colloquialism is a clear issue with the essay that can be improved with practice only.

Re: Please Evaluate my Task 2

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 8:25 pm
by Flick
Elseady2014 wrote: Fri Mar 03, 2017 11:46 am In management efforts to make buildings more economic and fashionable, an open space concept has become a prominent trend in recent years. Although this may result in less privacy for individuals, it holds tremendous benefits for both employees and employers. In this essay the purposes and positive effects of such a development, as well as the drawbacks, will be discussed.

Firstly, one of the main advantages of open designs is that they offer an economic use of space for office desks, chairs, equipment and furniture. Also, it allows better communication between people, and thus helps them in achieving their tasks easily. Another major benefit is that open designs have been proved to be more environmentally suitable for creativity. For instance, a 2015 study in the USA revealed that people working in wide open places are 25% more prone to be creative in achieving their tasks than others working in closed, locked rooms.

Secondly, there are some negative ramifications related to this concept in planning schools and offices. One of the main worrying side effects is that open spaces provide an unhealthy environment where contagious and infectious diseases are more likely to spread among people. Also, the lack of privacy may affect the productivity of workers and children negatively because they will be disturbed by the idea of being watched by other people.

In conclusion, open designs have served people with a better chance of communication and creativity, so it is recommended for such a trend to be supported but with adequate health and privacy measures.

Re: Please Evaluate my Task 2

Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:25 pm
by Elseady2014
Thank you so so so much :)