Computer technologies are more accessible and cheaper, as the result, more adults work at home and children study at home. Is this a positive or negative development?
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Due to the proliferation of computers and the Internet, people’s social life has been changed significantly. For example, the number of home working adults and home study adolescents is growing, because both of the cost-efficiency and accessibility of computer technologies are more favourable for ordinary people. From my perspective, this is a positive development.
Working and studying at home has several merits. Frist of all, it could increase the efficiency by providing people with a familiar and comfortable environment. On the contrary, working in places like offices and schools may raise serious issues such as bullying, which not only adversely impacts on one’s productivity, but also causes mental and physical health problems. In addition, it offers flexibility by allowing people to allocate their workload themselves. Thus, the efficiency of the task could be maximised by making sure the person is full of energy and has adequate rest.
Nevertheless, opponents claim that people would be easily distracted while working and studying at home and the results would be negatively affected. Distractions such as TVs and phones could easily draw attention away from people while working and some of them may never return to work. Nonetheless, this issue could be disregarded as most adults have a strong independent working ability and children could be supervised by their parents.
In conclusion, although home working and home study may possess certain issues, I firmly believe that it is a positive development.
kindly review my T2 essay thank you
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David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
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Re: kindly review my T2 essay thank you
Hello!
Stick with the solid, generally true arguments, rather than spending time on bullying. And I'm sure that withdrawing a victim child from school is not a great way to deal with bullying.
The point about efficiency would be better as a single paragraph.
How are parents going to supervise their kids?
Possess certain issues?
Overall, not a particularly good essay. Organisation is not good. Some points are not developed or explained. Vocabulary is sometimes unclear. Grammar is good.
All the best,
David
Stick with the solid, generally true arguments, rather than spending time on bullying. And I'm sure that withdrawing a victim child from school is not a great way to deal with bullying.
The point about efficiency would be better as a single paragraph.
How are parents going to supervise their kids?
Possess certain issues?
Overall, not a particularly good essay. Organisation is not good. Some points are not developed or explained. Vocabulary is sometimes unclear. Grammar is good.
All the best,
David