pls evaluating my essay!Task 2: causes/effects of overweight

[plin0627]

The livelihoods and lifestyles of people have change rapidly along with the modernization world. Of all the changes, it is obvious that people are gaining weights compared with previous centuries. To address this issue, encouraging people understanding is a paramount first step. This essay will examine the major causes and effects of overweight amongst global people.

Firstly, the greatest cause that leads to overweight is that the global society is permeated with widely increasing negative lifestyles. For example, people tend to crave for fast foods like McDonalds and KFC. Apart from unhealthy fast foods, additional of lacking in daily exercises in order to burn our body fats have also greatly contributes to the causes of overweight among people. Thus, it is undeniable that daily intakes of junk foods as well as lacking of stagnant exercises are the major precursors to overweight.

Despite the main causes, the effects of overweight must also not to be overlooked or belittled by all. It is believed that the age groups of overweight are growing younger year on year. According to the World Health Organisation, for instance, the diabetes rates have prevalently increasing around the globe especially in countries like America and British. These countries also contribute to greatest rates of health diseases like heart attack as well as high blood pressure. Thus, growing rates of heart attack, diabetes and high blood pressure are the most chilling effects of the overweight.

Following this look, overweight is inciting swelling numbers of diabetes and heart attack sufferers globally. These are considered to be most significant causes and effects of overweight. Hence, controlling the productions of junk foods as well as health educations have to become central to humanity’s control strategies for the 21st century.

[Flick]

The livelihoods and lifestyles of people have change rapidly along with the modernization of the world. Of all the changes, it is obvious that people are gaining weight more rapidly when compared with previous centuries. To address this issue, encouraging understanding is a paramount first step. This essay will examine the major causes and effects of obesity around the globe.

Firstly, the leading cause of obesity is that the global society is permeated with negative lifestyles. For example, people tend to crave for fast foods like McDonalds and KFC. (<-- why is this bad? What effect does fast food have on weight?) Apart from unhealthy fast foods, there is a lack of sufficient daily exercise in order to burn off excess body fat which also greatly contributes to the cause of obesity among people. Thus, it is undeniable that a daily intake of junk food as well as not enough exercise are the major precursors to obesity.

As well as the main causes, the effects of being overweight must not to be overlooked or belittled by all. It is believed that obesity is effecting younger age groups every year. According to the World Health Organisation, the prevalence of diabetes has increased around the globe, especially in countries like America and Britain.(<-- can you give a reason for this? Maybe this is because of the high numbers of fast food restaurants being built in these countries.) These countries also account for the greatest percentage of diseases like heart disease (you could add a bit more here, like: which often leads to heart attacks), as well as high blood pressure. Thus, growing rates of heart attack, diabetes and high blood pressure are the most chilling effects of being obese.

Following this logic, obesity, is causing the swelling of numbers of diabetics and heart attacks globally. These are considered to be the most significant effects of obesity. Hence, controlling the production of junk foods as well as improving health education have to become central to humanity’s control strategies for the 21st century.

Well done, plin0627. You write about both the cause and effect of obesity and offer solutions which are feasible. It is better not to leave the solutions until the conclusion because you should bot introduce new content in the conclusion. You did a good job, though.

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